Narrator/Adult: Winnie Cooper was my first real love. She grew up in a house across the street. She was the first girl I'd ever kissed. And now...She'd broken up with me. But it wasn't until the next day that I understood what it all meant.
Kevin: This is all a mistake.
Kevin: What happened - with Winnie and me?
Paul: Oh, that.
Kevin: It's just a big understanding, right?
Kevin: She's probably just mad at me. Don't you think?
Paul: It's over.
Paul: Well, I'm sorry, but that's what I think. I mean it's pretty clear. She met this guy...she likes him better...
Kevin: Who asked you?!
Paul: Well, you did. Remember?
Kevin: That's not the point.
Peter: Hey, Arnold! Heard the "Super Cooper" dropped you like a rotten egg. Sorry!
Narrator/Adult: One little tiff with my girlfriend, and suddenly I'm headline news.
Norma: Kevin, guess who I ran into at the grocery store today? Doug Porter's mother. She mentioned that you and Winnie are going through some tough times?
Narrator/Adult: Great! I'd made the big leagues...the supermarket checkout line.
(Wayne slams the phone down from Kevin's hand)
Wayne: Don't do it.
Wayne: You're going to call her, right, hmm?
Narrator/Adult: Darn! I'd been picked up on my brother's misery antenna.
Kevin: I wasn't going to call her.
Wayne: Good. Because it's a "losers" move.
Narrator/Adult: 'Course, Wayne had been dumped by every girl in the tri-county area. So he did speak with a certain authority.
Kevin: OK, then what should I do?
Wayne: You keep your distance...
Kevin: Uh huh.
Wayne: You make her suffer...Otherwise you're just some road kill on the side of the highway, waiting to get run over a second time.
Kevin: Wayne, this is none of your business.
Wayne: Fine! Do what you want. But if you do call her back, may as well hang a billboard up saying "Winnie, come back, please." Better yet, maybe you should throw a party for her. Uh-hhehhe.
Kevin: Huh. Talk about stupid!
Narrator/Adult: The very thought of a party - talk about ridiculous! What would I do - invite her, get her alone, work a little magic on her?
Madeline: Hi, Kevin!
Madeline: Did I hear that Paul Pfeiffer is having a party at his house tomorrow night?
Kevin: Well, sort of. Kind of. Anyway, I'm not going.
Madeline: Well that's a surprise!
Kevin: What do you mean by that?
Madeline: It's just I know you're one of Paul's best friends...and I just...expected...
Kevin: Well I decided not to go. It's gonna be stupid and boring... and there are going to be a lot of people there that I don't want to see, anyway.
Narrator/Adult: I must have been as transparent as a piece of cellophane.
Kevin: Uh, no. Uh, yeah. She was thinking of maybe coming by.
Madeline: can imagine that must be hard.
Madeline: Going to a party alone that she's going to be at.
Narrator/Adult: Now wait a minute. What was this girl saying here? Why couldn't I go to my best friend's party? And who said I had to go alone?
Kevin: Do you want to go to a party?
Winnie: Kevin, I care about you. You mean a lot to me.
Kevin: I do?
Winnie: And...I need you...
Narrator/Adult: I wanted to take her right there and tell her how much I missed her.
Winnie:...to...be my friend.
Kevin: Your friend?
Narrator/Adult: The words cut my heart out. I couldn't have been more unprepared. I said the first thing I felt.
Kevin: I don't want to be your friend. I got enough friends.
Kevin: Winnie, let's just do both ourselves a favor and keep away from each other.
Winnie: You really mean that?
Kevin: Of course I really mean that!
Narrator/Adult: I guess I was hurting her, but I just didn't care anymore.
Kevin: I'll tell you another thing, Winnie. This whole thing's stupid. It's really not that big a deal. And to tell you the truth our relationship didn't mean that much to me, alright?
Narrator/Adult: It was the biggest lie I ever told. And she believed every word of it.
Madeline: So how' d it go?
Kevin: Fine, fine. Piece of cake.
Madeline: I'm glad. I never saw what the big deal about Winnie Cooper was anyway.
Narrator/Adult: And that left just one thing to say.
Kevin: Madeline!...Get lost!