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The Wonder Years :: Graduation (04x22)
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Episode Information |
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| Title: | Graduation |
| Episode #: | 04x22 |
| Original Airdate: | Wednesday May 08th, 1991 |
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Episode Summary |
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Kevin is graduating from Junior High and that brings changes, finding out that Paul is going off to a private school next year and his favorite teacher, Mrs. Hymer, is in labor.
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Guest Stars |
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Main Cast |
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Featured Songs |
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Episode Quotes |
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Narrator/Adult: Ninteen-seventy-one was a big year. Hot-pants were invented. Denny McLain lost twenty two games for the Washington Senators. And I graduated from McKinley junior high.
| (in the school auditorium practicing for graduation)
Mr. Diperna: Students, parents, faculty and friends - welcome!
Kid in crowd: Eat it!
Mr. Diperna: Who said that?
Narrator/Adult: The final week of junior high school. Kinda brought a lump to the old throat.
Paul: Shhh! Come on, guys. This is serious.
Mr. Diperna: Alright, people...
Randy: Yeah, come on. Pfeiffster's gotta make a speech.
Mr. Diperna: After my opening remarks, here's what'll happen...When your names are called You'll walk up the right-hand aisle, to collect your diplomas.
(Tony Barbella as he raises his hand)
Mr. Diperna: Yes.
Tony Barbella: Do I get one this year?
Mr. Diperna: I fail to see the humor in that, Mr. Barbella.
Tony: Just checkin'.
Paul: I don't get it. This is a major moment in our lives.
Mr. Diperna: Alright, as I was saying...
Paul: Isn't anyone aware of that?
Narrator/Adult: But if Paul was looking for allies...He was in the wrong camp.
Randy: Get off it, Pfeiffer.
Kevin: Yeah, come on Paul - lighten up. It's just a stupid graduation.
Paul: To you maybe. Not to me.
Kevin: Paul, what's the big deal? I mean, we're gonna see all these people next year in high school, right?
(Paul has a look of uncomfort on his face)
| Coach Cutlip: Men! I have good news. And I have bad news.
Narrator/Adult: Ed Cutlip - the man, the educator, the cliche.
Coach Cutlip: The good news is, after three years of long hours, backbreaking work...And total dedication - on my part, you men are ready to move on. The bad news is...I won't be going with you. I'll be here. At the Northeast College of the Great Plains, Indianapolis Campus Indianapolis, Indiana. Post office box two-four-eight. Beginning in August, I'll be assuming the position as Assistant Athletic Director...The "big time", people. But before I go, I'd like to leave you with a thought. One to carry with you years from now when you look back and think...of Coach Cutlip. Free at last. Free at last...Thank God, Almighty - free...at last.
Narrator/Adult: We were witnessing the passing of an era. Amen!
| Winnie: Kevin, what do you think's gonna happen to us?
Kevin: Us?
b]Narrator/Adult: Actually, I had more than a few thoughts on the matter.
Winnie: All of us.
Kevin: Oh.
Winnie: I mean, next year. In high school. You think we'll be OK?
Kevin: How do you mean?
Winnie: I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if the good times are really all gone. Whether they meant anything at all.
Narrator/Adult: Good old Winnie - you had to love her. Those vulnerable doe eyes, reaching out for my manly reassurance.
Kevin: Of course we'll be OK. It's gonna be great! We're all gonna be goin' to the same school. Me, you, Paul...
Narrator/Adult: God - that cast was driving me crazy.
Winnie: Oh. Then...Paul hasn't told you...
Kevin: Told me what?
Winnie: Never mind.
Kevin: No, what is it? Has he got a girlfriend? Getting contact lenses?
Narrator/Adult: After all, the guy was my best buddy. There was nothin' he didn't tell me.
Winnie: Kevin...He's going away to school next year. Prep school.
| Kevin: Paul, tell me this isn't true.
Paul: Look, Kev - I wanted to tell ya, but -
Kevin: I don't believe this! Prep school? Paul, nobody goes to prep school!
Narrator/Adult: Nobody who was my best friend, anyway.
Kevin: Paul!
Paul: Let's not make a bigger deal out of this than it is.
Kevin: Oh, yeah...what was this - your parent's idea? (Paul looks away) This was your idea?!
Paul: Kev...It's just a country day-school...I'll be back in the afternoons!
Kevin: "Country day-school"? What are ya gonna wear? Little frilly dresses and parasols?
Narrator/Adult: OK - that was mean. I admit it. I meant it to be mean - I loved this guy.
Kevin: Look...it's you and me we're talkin' about. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Paul: Kev...It's not then end of the world.
(scene moves to science classroom)
Mr. Cantwell: Armageddon...the final frontier. The splitting of atoms...the tearing apart of nature's closest bond. Let's take a look.
Narrator/Adult: OK, I was mad. I felt lost. My best friend had betrayed me. So, of course, there was really only one thing to say.
Kevin: So...got your Polo outfit all picked out?
Paul: What?
Kevin: Maybe you should start smoking a pipe. That'd be pretty stupid.
Narrator/Adult: Yep. Thought I'd be real adult about this.
Kevin: And you'll need some new underwear. I hear all those guys wear pink.
Mr. Cantwell: Please...I need your complete attention.
Narrator/Adult: But I didn't care - I was on a roll.
Kevin: One word of advice, prep-man.
Paul: Kevin...I don't have to take this.
Kevin: Whatever you do... Never...Ever...Let 'em see you eat spaghetti.
Paul: OK...(Paul closes his book and looks at Kevin) I've had enough! (He stands up)
Kevin: Oh, yeah? What are ya gonna do about it?
(Mr. Cantwell at the table. He looks at Kevin and Paul off-screen as he pours one beaker into another)
Mr. Cantwell: Gentlemen, please - control yourselves.
Narrator/Adult: But suddenly, I knew what I had to do. The lasting thing. The caring thing.
(Kevin hits him)
Paul: Ugh!
(Mr. Cantwell pouring one beaker into the other and looking at Kevin and Paul off-screen, then looking at the beakers in shock as one starts to foam and overflow. He sets them down)
Mr. Cantwell: Oh...golly!
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