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The Wonder Years: Dinner Out

Jack's birthday dinner is a flop after Karen shows up with Michael.

Episode Info

Episode number: 5x8
Airdate: Wednesday December 04th, 1991

Director: Bryan Gordon
Writer: Gina Goldman

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Guest Stars
David SchwimmerDavid Schwimmer
As Michael
Beatrice ColenBeatrice Colen
As Waitress
Eric PoppickEric Poppick
As Maitre D'
Monica LundryMonica Lundry
As Saleslady
Main Cast
Fred Savage
As Kevin Arnold
Dan Lauria
As Jack Arnold
Alley Mills
As Norma Arnold
Olivia d'Abo
As Karen Arnold
Jason Hervey
As Wayne Arnold
Daniel Stern
voiced Adult Kevin Arnold
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
The Tune WeaversHappy, Happy Birthday Baby 

Episode Quotes
Narrator/Adult: Every two weeks...My mother would invent some subterfuge to sneak behind enemy lines And attempt to re-establish communications.
(Norma brings in bags of groceries at Karen's home)
Karen: We do have stores around here, you know.
Narrator/Adult: With...varying success.
Michael: Have you got that OK?
Kevin: Yeah - I'm fine.
Michael: Your mom knows there's only two of us, right?
Kevin: I think so.
Narrator/Adult: That would be Michael - Karen's boyfriend. Or live-in. Or...Significant other. Whatever.
Michael: So, uh...how's your dad?
Kevin: Ya know, he's...about the same.
Michael: Only worse?
Kevin: You got it.
Narrator/Adult: Thing is...Even though I was supposed to hate the guy...I didn't. Not that that was the problem.
(inside the kitchen)
Karen: Well, we live together, we sleep together, we
are together.
Narrator/Adult: That was the problem.
Norma: We know that, honey.
Karen: See, maybe you know that, but dad doesn't know that.
Norma: Well, you just have to give him some time.
Karen: I mean he...he's stubborn...He's pig-headed...Isn't he, Kevin?
Kevin: Uh...
Norma: Now, don't talk about your father like that.
Michael: So, uh...Who do you think's gonna be in the superbowl this year?
Narrator/Adult: I guess life here was about the same as at our house.
Michael: Never mind.
Norma: Karen you're not being fair. Just...talk to him.
Karen: Mom, I'd love to.
Norma: Well, good, then.
Karen: But not without Michael.
Narrator/Adult: And we were back where we started.
Michael: You know...Maybe it wouldn't hurt for you to, ya know, sit down, together. I mean, he's your father, right? And, he's paying for all the groceries. Right? (everyone stares at Michael) I think there's another bag in the car.

Narrator/Adult: Shopping.
(Wayne picks up a birthday card and reads it)
Wayne: Happy birthday, Dad. You're not getting older - that would be impossible. (Laughs)
Kevin: Come on - you don't want to get him that.
Wayne: Mom said we can get him anything we want.
Narrator/Adult: Which, for my brother, meant anything under a buck. Me, I'd been workin' all summer, and this was the first time in my life I could afford to spend more than two dollars for my father's birthday. Trouble was, I had absolutely no idea what it should be.
Saleslady: May I help you?
Kevin: Uh, yeah. I'm looking for a gift for my dad.
Saleslady: I know just the thing.
Narrator/Adult: Great - a little professional advice.
Saleslady: Socks.
Narrator/Adult: Socks.
Saleslady: They're Dacron-polyester.
Kevin: Well...no...you see, I wanted to get him somethin', you know...better.
Saleslady: Well, that shouldn't be too hard. Why don't you tell me a little bit about him?
Kevin: Well...He's my dad. And, uh...
Narrator/Adult: Let's see now.
Kevin: Well, he-he's sort of...Well, he's kinda like...
Narrator/Adult: Trouble was...How do you put a man like that into words.
(cut back to the Arnold's home)
Jack: Damn.
Narrator/Adult: That was one way.

Waitress: Can I get you folks a drink?
Wayne: Uh, yeah. I'll have a double Scotch-rocks, with a twist....For him....Natch.
Jack: Oh...
Norma: If we could just see the menus, please.
Waitress: Oh, our special tonight is a sixteen-ounce prime rib.
Jack: Prime rib, huh?
Narrator/Adult: Alright - this was the ticket. Mellow the guy out with a good old fashioned hunk o'...
Karen: Dead cow.
Michael: Uh, Karen...
Karen: Well, that's what prime rib is, isn't it? Cow flesh? How many innocent beasts had to be slaughtered so we could have this meal?
Waitress: I don't know, honey...I just work here. I'll be back to take your orders.
Karen: Who chose this place, anyway?
Wayne: Dad did.
Narrator/Adult: Which left us about ooh, five seconds from meltdown.
Michael: So, uh, Mr. Arnold...How are things at Norplant? Norcorp? Norfleet? Nor...
(Karen mouthing "com".)
Michael: Com! Norcom! That's-that's where you work, right? How are things there?
Jack: Work's work.
Narrator/Adult: And, back to me.
Kevin: Well, uh...I have to go to the bathroom.
Michael: Yeah, me too.
(in the bathroom)
Michael: Norcom! I knew it was Norcom. What is the matter with me?
Kevin: Look, it wasn't so bad. Really.
Michael: Right. I just made a complete fool of myself.
Kevin: Well, sometimes...my dad can do that to people.

Warning: The Wonder Years season 5 episode 8 guide may contain spoilers
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