Narrator: The hardest part of growing up is having the ones you've always turned to, turn to you.
Narrator/Adult: Berlinger Falls. Fresh air, trees...A suburban outdoorsman's Valhalla. Where men could kick back in the company of men. Such as they were. It was a Got it.place where dads could be dads. And kids could be kids. Where fathers and sons could share things. Together. Three men in a tent. Trouble was, to get there, first ya had to be...Three men in a car.
Wayne: Gee, Dad...you think you could drive a little bit slower?
Jack: What are ya talkin' about? I'm drivin' fifty-five.
Narrator/Adult: Not that bickering in the bucket was anything new to us.
Jack: Kevin, I said...Turn down that music.
Jack: It's too loud.
Kevin: It is not.
Narrator/Adult: Still this time it was clear something had changed. Something hard to define.
Wayne: Who thought of this stupid trip, anyway?
Jack: What's that supposed to mean?
Wayne: Means why are we going?
Narrator/Adult: Fortunately, when it came to questions of cosmic dimensions...The old man was a pro.
Jack: Look. I took a day off, I got you two a day off and now we're goin' fishin'. And it's all I want to hear. Understood?
Kevin: Got it.
Narrator/Adult: And, given the circumstances...It was probably as good a reason as any. After all...This was ritual.
Jack: Ed's bait shop. Remember?
Narrator/Adult: Ed's bait shop. The last outpost before the wild. Nightcrawlers, inchworms, grubs. What kid could...Forget it?
Jack: OK - fan out. We need hooks, leaders, waders and lures.
Narrator/Adult: Wait a minute.
Wayne: Uh, Dad? How 'bout some food?
Kevin: Yeah. You know - to eat.
Jack: What are ya talkin' about? We don't need food. We're gonna catch fish!
Jack: Get beans.
Wayne: Yeah. And beer.
Jack: Yeah. And soda for Kevin.
Narrator/Adult: Wait a minute.
Kevin: Dad. I'm sixteen years old.
Kevin: So...I can handle a brew.
Narrator/Adult: Figured I'd get the priorities straight from the get-go.
Jack: Fine. Get him root beer.
Narrator/Adult: Seemed clear this tradition business...Was gonna have its drawbacks.
Narrator/Adult: Seemed the only thing biting around here were the mosquitos. So it was time to fall back on the oldest technique known to fishermen in times of trouble.
Jack: Kevin, ya gotta cast it out further...if ya wanna catch anything.
Narrator/Adult: Give the other guy advice.
Kevin: Don't worry about me...I know what I'm doin'.
Narrator/Adult: Even though I didn't.
Kevin: Dad! Dad, I got a bite.
Jack: Ya need any help?
Kevin: No - I got it.
Narrator/Adult: And I did. I had it. The first catch of the day.
Jack: Ease 'er in. Ease 'er in...
Narrator/Adult: It was big, alright. Big, mean, tough,...It was...Totally humiliating. (Kevin pulls out a tire from the water)
Wayne: Personally, I'd throw it back - it's flat.
Jack: Nah, keep it - it'll look good on the wall.
Narrator/Adult: Pret-ty fun-ny...
Wayne: Hey, Kev! Hey...I hear the tires are really bitin' around here.
Kevin: Shut up...Butthead.
Narrator/Adult: OK, then. If that's the way they wanted to play it. I could play rough, too. After all, if I couldn't catch a fish, there was always a chance I might snare myself...A hundred-and-forty-pound large-mouth ass.
Kevin: Hey, Wayne! Come over here - I gotta show ya somethin' - it's really cool.
Kevin: Yeah, ya gotta see it.
Wayne: OK - in a second.
Narrator/Adult: Heh-heh. It was mean. It was rotten. It was irresistable.
Jack: What is it, Kev? Ya find somethin'?
Kevin: Uh...No, Dad...it's nothing. It's for Wayne. Wayne!
Jack: No, really - let me take a look.
Kevin: No! Dad!
(Jack falls into a hole in the lake)
Wayne: I don't believe it. Beans again.
Narrator/Adult: Let's face it. We were failures. As campers...As anglers...As men.
Wayne: Well, I know...why don't we cook up Kevin's catch? Nothing like the taste of...barbeque steel-belted radial. Or how about...fillet of Firestone?
Narrator/Adult: Not to mention stand-up comedians.