Narrator/Adult: If there's one way to describe adolescence...It might be this...It's a gamble. An adventure into the unexpected. A step into the unknown. It's a time of life that pits hope against fear. And logic against prayer. A game of luck...and opportunity. Not unlike, say, for instance...Poker.
Old Kevin: Don't put the glass right on the table. My father'll kill me if he sees a stain.
Old Paul: I'm fairly certain these old chairs of yours are aggravating my prostate.
Old Chuck: This hand's an all-time beaut. You should frame it.
Old Randy: OK, then...who needs cards?
Old Chuck: Gimme four.
Old Randy: Anyone else?
Old Kevin: Three.
Old Paul: Uh, give me two. Uh, uh, no wait, um...better make that three.
Old Randy: Jeff?
Old Jeff: None.
Old Randy: None? You sure?
Old Kevin: I fold.
Old Chuck: I fold.
Old Jeff: Well, then...Guess I'm the lucky winner.
Chuck: I got chips...
Narrator/Adult: The eight-o'clock snack break. A chance to mix simple pleasantries with...Complex carbohydrates and starch.
Paul: I can't believe it. Do you guys have any idea what you are putting into your bodies?
Jeff: What do you mean - this isn't healthy?
(Jeff holds up a Twinkie)
Paul: I'd hate to see your digestive tract in ten years.
Jeff: Tell ya what - you don't ask, and I won't offer, alright?
Paul: Kev, don't you have any fruit in this house?
Kevin: Yeah, it's on the bottom.
Paul: No, all I see here is an apple pie.
Kevin: Right. Apple's a fruit.
Paul: Forget it. I got an orange in my car. Least I plan ahead.
Jeff: Boy, he doesn't quit, does he?
Kevin: What do you mean?
Jeff: Well, it's just that he's kinda like, um...how shall I say? Not fun.
Chuck: A major downer.
Kevin: What are you guys talking about?
Chuck: Uh, Kev? About the ski-trip over Spring vacation...
Kevin: Yeah, we're all still goin', right?
Chuck: See the thing is...we don't think we're gonna have room for Pfeiffer.
Kevin: Well, what do ya mean? I thought...all of us were goin'.
Jeff: Well, it's not Paul so much. It's just that...Chuck's car...only fits four people.
Chuck: You can check the manual.
Randy Mitchell: And my uncle's cabin only has four beds.
Kevin: So, what are you guys trying to say?
Narrator/Adult: Even though it was pretty clear.
Paul: So, what did I miss?
Narrator/Adult: Now, Paul Pfeiffer has been my best friend...For seventeen years. I'd always told him everything.
Kevin: Nothing. Really. No, we were just, uh...Talking.
Chuck: Well, come on guys. Let's get back to the game.
Narrator/Adult: After all, Paul was just being himself.
Paul: Want an orange?
Kevin: No, thanks. Come on.
Narrator/Adult: As opposed, to say...Some of the rest of us.
Jeff: Chuck, the bet is a quarter. You threw in a nickel.
Chuck: Uh...right. Quarter.
Narrator/Adult: By eight-thirty, Chuck Coleman's natural ebullience was fading fast.
Kevin: So, Chuck - what's wrong with you? [Frowns.]
Chuck: Nothin'! I just...have some stuff on my mind.
Jeff: What kind of stuff?
Chuck: Uh, you know...Eh...me and Alice.
Randy Mitchell: What - are you guys fighting again?
Chuck: No, it's nothing like that.
Paul: Well, if you're not fighting, what are you two doing?
Narrator/Adult: There are moments in life...That alter history...And change the course of human events.
Kevin: You didn't...
Narrator/Adult: This was one of them.
Kevin: Alright, Chuck!
Jeff: Way to go, Coleman.
Narrator/Adult: It was a stirring revelation which merited only one response.
Paul: You know, I hope you used some kind of protection.
Paul: I said, I hope you used protection.
Chuck: Course I did, Pfeiffer. I mean, what kind of stooge do you take me for?
Narrator/Adult: Ask an idiotic question...
Chuck: Look - are we gonna play cards or not?
Kevin: No, I'm out.
Paul: Me, too.
Jeff: Yeah, me too. (pulls out a cigar)
Narrator/Adult: Speaking of idiotic.
Paul: Oh, you're not gonna smoke that thing, are you? Do you have any idea what it's gonna do to your lungs? Not to mention my sweater? I don't believe it - he's actually lighting it.
Kevin: Paul, come on...[frowns]...it's only a cigar.
Paul: Look I have some air-freshener in my car - I'll be right back.
Chuck: That's not a straight.
Randy: Of course it is. Look. Two-three-four-five-six.
Chuck: Two-three-four-five...nine. You know what two-three-four-five-nine is? Nothing.
Kevin: Boy, Randy...maybe you should be studying your math.
Randy: Yeah, really funny.
Narrator/Adult: Which, of course, it was. To us, anyway.
Randy: Hey, will you guys just shut up? For your information... I failed my last three trigonometry tests. When I flunk out, I bet it'll be really hilarious.
Kevin: Oh, come on...you're not gonna flunk out.
Randy: Oh, yeah? My guidance counselor says if I don't pass, I'm not gonna graduate. What do ya say to that?
Narrator/Adult: And of course, there was only one thing to say.
Jeff: Three kings.
Narrator/Adult: Of course, some of us were taking the news harder than others.
Jeff: What's the matter, Chuck? You can't beat three kings?
Chuck: I think Alice is pregnant.
Jeff: Here, congratulations. Have a cigar.
Paul: I knew it. I knew it.
Kevin: Shut up, Paul!
Paul: I was just tryin' to help.
Kevin: Yeah, well, don't.
Narrator/Adult: It's been said sobering news travels in bunches.
Narrator/Adult: And after ninety minutes of poker...There was no shortage of sobering news.
Chuck: How could I be so stupid?
Narrator/Adult: Chuck was on the brink of fatherhood...
Randy: Well, at least you're passing trig.
Narrator/Adult: Randy was on the brink of repeating the eleventh grade...And I was on the brink of hating my best friend.
(Paul sprays air freshner)
Jeff: Knock it off, Pfeiffer.
Paul: Not till you put that thing out.
Narrator/Adult: But in addition to it all...In addition to the gut-wrenching teenage melodrama playing out before us... One other thing seemed slightly amiss.
Kevin: Hey. You cheated!
Narrator/Adult: We were in the presence...Of a crook.