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A cuckolded book dealer, Frank Logan, turns to the classics to get rid of his wife's secret lover. His meddling brother-in-law hires a detective to investigate, and Frank must eliminate them as well. However, he then discovers that his wife has taken up with a handyman, and Frank must devise a perfect murder taken from the pen of Edgar Allen Poe.
Randy Hagen is sleeping in his bed when a loud bang wakes him up. He goes to investigate and finds his apartment in disarray. He demands that the intruder reveals himself, and then asks if it’s Louise. Book dealer Frank Logan looks up and informs Hagen that he is Louise's wife. He expresses his admiration for Hagen's book collection, and then accuses Hagen of stealing his wife. Hagen denies it and asked how Frank got in, and Frank shows him the key that he took from Louise that she used to meet Hagen. When Hagen asks what he wants, Frank points out that he's wearing gloves, and it will appear that burglars broke in and killed Hagen. The book dealer reaches into his jacket and takes a battle axe from the display on Frank's wall. Hagen tries to dial the operator, but Frank has cut the line. Frank follows Hagen into the bedroom and kills him, and then calmly steps out, removes his gloves, chuckles over one of Hagen's books, and leaves. The book is Crime and Punishment
...Read the full recap
Host: Crime and Punishment. That in a nutshell is our story for tonight. Except that instead of a neurotic student, and his nemesis, our play is about a beautiful wife with an intemperate taste in men. And her discerning husband, whose reservation will stop at nothing, not even murder. This good man, however, is not an ordinary killer. He has flair, imagination. A good imagination. That's the name of our play. Our players are Patricia Barry, Ed Nelson, and Edward Andrews as the injured bookworm. Join us now as we watch this bookworm turn... to murder.
Frank Logan: Randy Hagen. Do I know him, dear?
Louise Logan: But of course. We met him months ago at Edna's party, don't you remember.
Frank Logan: Oh yes, yes. Uh... good-looking young man with a mustache. Sort of minor-league D'Artagnan.
Louise Logan: Who?
Frank Logan: D'Artagnan. That's a character in The Three Musketeers. I don't suppose you've read it, though.
Louise Logan: No.
(talking about blocking a hole, with his wife's lover)
George Parker: Keep the mice out, eh?
Frank Logan: And the rats.
George Parker: Oh, there's no rats around here, Mr. Logan.
Frank Logan: Ah, you're wrong there, George. There are rats everywhere. Oh dear, they--they'll sneak in when you''re not looking. First thing you know, they'll ruin a man's home for him. And they're cunning, too, George. They try to cover up their tracks. But a smart man knows when they're around, and... he gets rid of them.
Frank Logan: George, every time I look at this gun, I think of a thousand stories. One for every bullet it's ever fired. Oops. Stories of violence and danger, guilt and justice. But I'm talking too much.
Louise Logan: Did, uh... did George say anything else?
Frank Logan: No. What else was there to say?
Louise Logan: Well, where did he ever get the idea that you would try to kill me.
Frank Logan: I haven't got the slightest idea. Just snapped, I guess. Imagination run away with him. Well, I'm just glad it didn't happen while he was up here with you. Can't tell what he might have done. Now, this might sound far-fetched to you, darling, but do you realize he actually might have tried to make love to you? Ick. Imagine being kissed by a fella like that.
Frank Logan: D'Artagnan. That's a character in The Three Musketeers.
D'Artagnan is the protagonist in the 1844 novel by Alexandre Dumas, although he is not one of the title characters.
Frank Logan: We're like Jean Valjean and Javert. I'm the hunted, he's the hunter.
Les Misérables is the Victor Hugo novel featuring Inspector Javert hunting the escaped convict, Valjean.