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On low-volume-plastic-bodied-British-sports-cars Top Gear, Jeremy and Richard battled it out to find the best shed-built supercar in the UK, James took a look at a truly enormous Cadillac and comedian, actor and all-round nice chap Alan Davies got to grips with was our reasonably priced car.
Hammond looked at the TVR 350C, which is yet another hairy-chested, plastic missile from the maverick, Blackpool-based manufacturer. It was pretty hard finding another car that could keep up, so in the end we didn't bother and raced it against a Harrier Jump-Jet instead.
Jeremy prefers his plastic, British sports cars with the engine in the middle and therefore championed the new Noble. Richard wasn't convinced, so they tried to settle the argument with a typically mature game of Top Trumps.
As a final decider, both cars were handed over to Top Gear's tame racing driver, the Stig, for a flying lap round our test track. The times were very close, but in the end the Noble managed a faster and much tidier lap. Jeremy, as always, was magnanimous in victory and repeatedly called Hammond a loser while doing a little dance.
Later in the programme, Jeremy tested the astonishing new Phaeton, which is Volkswagen's first foray into the world of high-end luxury saloons. He revealed that VW's MD gave the Phaeton's designers a number of extraordinary rules for the car, including one that states the windows must never become fogged up with condensation. Jeremy immediately took this as a challenge and disappeared into the Phaetons capacious rear with a young lady to make things steamy. Before you all go running to Points of View, we should explain that all Clarkson did was boil a kettle and make a nice cup of tea for his new lady friend.
Keeping with the luxury car theme, James May looked at the jaw-dropping new Cadillac 16 concept. A car with a bonnet long enough to compensate for even the smallest, erm, ego.
Stig's Lap Times:
TVR 350c: 1:27
Noble 3.0: 1:25
Range Rover Overfinch 580S: 1:44:0
Star In A Reasonably Priced Car:
The celebrity guest this week was comedian Alan Davies. His time was 1:54 (wet lap)
Richard Hammond: (referring to the TVR 350C) You've really, really got to want provoke it. I mean like walking through the lion enclosure, covered in sausages — and then spilling their pints.
Jeremy Clarkson: News came into the office the other day that Cadillac was in real trouble, so immediately Hammond and I went for lunch.
James May: (referring to the Cadillac Sixteen) Inside it's rather like a very rich, self-made American's house; I mean the wood is just too shiny really and the leather is a bit like a super model's buttocks.
Jodie Kidd: (being presented a Top Gear Trophy) Thank you. This is gonna go very-very high up on my... on my... above my fire. It's gonna be there, looking at me... And err... very proud of it, and... this lovely plasticness is... is beautiful. I'd just like to thank my agent, my family...
Jeremy Clarkson: (interrupting) Oh, for God's sake, shut up!