Olivia Colasanto: He talked about you all the time, Jack. His immortal man in old New York. He never forgot.
Rex: You telling me the whole world got screwed because two gay guys had a hissy fit?
Gwen: Rex, get back in your cave.
Olivia Colasanto: You inspired him. You proved immortality was possible, and he devoted the rest of his life to finding out how to live forever.
Jack: And he did it. He's still alive, he's still young?
Olivia Colasanto: Oh yes, he's still alive. Angelo Colasanto is still alive. But he's not young. My grandfather waited all this time to live forever. And his wish came true. Too late.
Olivia Colasanto: You must be horrified.
Jack: Why would you say that?
Olivia Colasanto: He's grown so old.
Jack: That's how I see the whole world. He's still young compared to me.
Allen Shapiro: People seem to be talking over me, which is fascinating and rare. And forbidden. I'll come back to you.
Allen Shapiro: So these are the Torchwood clowns?
Gwen: Torchwood did more to piece this together than the entire C.I.A.
Allen Shapiro: You're that English girl, Cooper. Have I got that right?
Gwen: No, I'm not English and I'm not a girl.
Rex: Sir, sir, with all due respect, Gwen Cooper has proven herself to be extremely useful. I think it's worth keeping her on our side.
Allen Shapiro: Did you sleep with her?
Gwen: Pardon me?!?
Rex: No sir, I did not.
Allen Shapiro: Because most women that bitter, you slept with.
Allen Shapiro: (to Jack) And what is it with you, Red Baron? Is Snoopy up your ass? (everyone snickers)
Gwen: That's funny.
Rex: Well, Brian Friedkin's a Category 1, the economy's going into a freefall, and one man died. So, how was your day?
Noah Vickers: Welcome back, Rex. Things were kind of quiet without you.
Allen Shapiro: You making a personal call, Drummond?
Esther: No. Sorry, sir.
Charlotte Wills: Is that Mr. Shapiro? You tell him, "Yes, it's personal. Yes, it's important. And yes his wife called. And I sent her flowers on his behalf."
Allen Shapiro: Charlotte Wills. Bane of my life.
Jilly Kitzinger: First I'm trying to set up a joint appearance for you with Madison Wheatley. She's the Bisected Bride. You know, car accident sheared off everything below the bikini line. Got married a week later, propped up on a box. Basically she's made up of positive thinking and colostomy bags.
Jilly Kitzinger: Shawnie Yamaguchi.
Shawnie: That is correct.
Jilly Kitzinger: Go get me a sandwich. Tomato and Swiss on sourdough. And see how well you cope with that. Then you can find me a prostitute.
Shawnie: I'm sorry?
Jilly Kitzinger: Start with the sandwich.
Allen Shapiro: This is a hell of a lot better than nicotine gum, let me tell you. You know what the rumor is from Washington? If cancer cells are immortal, well, then the Miracle switched them around and made them just plain mortal. They're keeping it quiet in case there's an outbreak of spontaneous joy. I mean we can't have that. But it means we've got nothing to worry about. We can smoke our way into the next Great Depression.
Allen Shapiro: Well, I'm sorry, Miss Cooper, but from this moment on, Torchwood is defunct. You will be removed from American soil immediately, and God help Great Britain.