(pulling a bottle out of his gut)
Jack: Ladies! Torso of steel, a shilling a feel. Any takers?

Jack: Silent types? That's okay. I used to date a guy with no mouth. Surprisingly creative.

Jack: Hey, when you joked about the millennium bug, I didn't realise it was gonna have 18 legs stacked with poison. Anyone home? Hey! You know you're supposed to party like it's... (finds his teammates dead) Alex?
Alex: Jack! Just in time.
Jack: Alex? What happened? Who did this?
Alex: Me.
Jack: What? Why?
Alex: We got it wrong, Jack. We thought we could control the stuff we found. And what's it brought us? So much death.
Jack: What happened to them?
Alex: It's good you're here. Always did have great timing. This place, it's yours. Torchwood Three. Mmy gift to you, Jack, for a century of service as field operative. Fill this place with purpose. Before it's too late. Please.
Jack: Alex, listen. It's going to be okay.
Alex: No. It's not. It's really not. I looked inside. It showed me what's coming. They were mercy killings. It's the kindest thing I could do. So none of us see the storm. I'm sorry I can't do the same for you. 21st century, Jack. Everything's gonna change. And we're not ready. (shoots himself)
Jack: Alex!

Tosh: Who are you?
Jack: Nobody. I don't exist. And for a man with my charisma, that is quite an achievement.

(tracking a pterodactyl)
Jack: Yeah, it's quite excitable.
Ianto: Must be the aftershave.
Jack: Never wear any.
Ianto: You smell like that naturally?
Jack: Fifty-first century pheromones. People have no idea.

Ianto: What exactly is your plan?
Jack: I'm gonna be the decoy.
Ianto: And it won't rip you to shreds?
Jack: Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.

Katie: It's like being lost in a place you know really well, you can't get your bearings. Sometimes it comes back to you. and sometimes... I'm sorry, Owen.
Owen: What've you got to be sorry for?
Katie: I don't want to put you through this. Last night, I dreamt that you left me.
Owen: Come on. Nobody's leaving anyone.

Owen: You're not a figment of my imagination and I don't know what's happening any more. Maybe this is what a mental breakdown feels like.
Jack: You're fine. It's the rest of the world that's delusional.