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Season 3 | | | | | | |
| 51 :03x03 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark (Oct/03/2005) | | Charlie finds out that Alan has been seeing his ex-wife, which is the reason he hasn't been dating. Alan tells Charlie not to tell Jake because he doesn't want him to get his hopes up. Judith and Alan spend a day together at the house, but Jake keeps interrupting when they try to get sensual in the hot-tub. When they take it to the bedroom, Alan screws everything up for himself. | | Guest Stars: Sandy Bentley as Sexy Girl, Mandy Bentley as Sexy Girl | Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Don Foster (1), Lee Aronsohn | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 56 :03x08 - That Voodoo That I Do Do (Nov/14/2005) | Charlie cons Jake into taking ballet lessons in order to get close to the teacher.
After his romantic overtures toward an attractive ballet teacher, Mia, are rejected, Charlie will stop at nothing to prove to Alan that he can persuade her to go out on a date with him. When he talks a reluctant Jake into taking her dance class to help his cause, his plan is derailed when Jake falls for her, too. | | Guest Stars: Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia | Director: Gary Halvorson
Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Mark Roberts (3) | | | | | | |
| 58 :03x10 - Something Salted and Twisted (Nov/28/2005) | Charlie helps Alan cope with his lifelong obsession to get women's approval.
Alan organizes a family dinner to celebrate the publication of a newspaper article that calls him a "good doctor, good neighbor and a good guy," but he's crushed when his mother, Evelyn, isn't impressed. After drowning his sorrow in many drinks, he has a life-changing epiphany and vows to a skeptical Charlie that he is no longer going to grovel for validation from his mother and the other women in his life.
* This episode was previously titled "Castration and Scallops" | | Guest Stars: Aja Evans as Emily, Jennifer Ann Massey (3) as Sheila, Rebecca McFarland as Leanne | Director: Rob Schiller (2)
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
Story: Eddie Gorodetsky | | | |
| 59 :03x11 - Santa's Village of the Damned (Dec/19/2005) | | Just in time for Christmas, Alan falls for Sandy, the teacher of his cooking class, and before long, she moves into the house, fattens the guys up with gourmet meals, drives Berta crazy with housekeeping tips, and generally turns all of their lives upside down with her unnatural pursuit of perfection. Charlie warns Alan that she's a "nester" and needs to be stopped before they reach a point of no return. Sandy turns out to be crazy for Santa. | | Guest Stars: Josie Davis as Sandy | Director: Rob Schiller (2)
Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre | | | |
| 60 :03x12 - That Special Tug (Jan/09/2006) | | Charlie and Alan drop Jake off at a friend's house and head out for some sibling bonding at the movies, but their night is ruined when Alan freaks out after convincing himself that Jake was too eager to spend the weekend away from him. Recognizing that desperate times call for desperate measures, Charlie begins seeing a therapist, ostensibly to learn how to cope with his brother's ever-increasing emotional instability. | | Guest Stars: Valerie Azlynn as Beth, Kelley West as Amy, Andrea Bendewald as Terry Sholander, Jane Lynch as Dr. Linda Freeman | Director: Rob Schiller (2)
Story: Susan Beavers | Teleplay: Lee Aronsohn | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| 65 :03x17 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauser (Mar/13/2006) | | Charlie boycotts an advertising awards banquet, having lost several years in a row to his cocky competitor, Archie. After devising a ploy to get him to attend, Alan, Evelyn and Jake accompany Charlie for support -- until they get to know Archie. Meanwhile, Rose talks Charlie into giving relationship advice to her new beau, Gordon. | | Guest Stars: J. D. Walsh as Gordon, Jon Lovitz as Archie, Loren Lester as Emcee | Director: Gary Halvorson
Story: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn | Teleplay: Mark Roberts (3), Eddie Gorodetsky | | | | | | | | | |
| 68 :03x20 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro (Apr/24/2006) | | Alan is depressed that his hot young girlfriend, Kandi, has left him to go stay with his bitter ex-wife, Judith, who has brainwashed her against him. At the advice of Mandi, Kandi's mother, Alan goes to Judith's to try to win her back. Meanwhile, Kandi has set Judith up on a date with Andy, her father. | | Guest Stars: Kevin Sorbo as Andy, Gail O'Grady as Mandi, April Bowlby as Kandi | Director: Gary Halvorson
Story: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre | Teleplay: Susan Beavers, Don Foster (1) | | | |
| 69 :03x21 - And the Plot Moistens (May/01/2006) | | Jake's teacher, Francine, calls in Alan and Judith to discuss Jake's lack of interest in school. Desperate to communicate with someone intelligent while continuing to see his air-headed girlfriend, Kandi, Alan falls for Francine -- in a platonic way. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake prepare his audition song for the school musical, which he was forced to try out for by Alan and Judith. | | Guest Stars: April Bowlby as Kandi, Julia Campbell (1) as Francine | Director: Jerry Zaks
Story: Jim Patterson | Teleplay: Mark Roberts (3), Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Eddie Gorodetsky | | | |
| 70 :03x22 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie (May/08/2006) | | When a cute girl from Jake's school invites him to a party, Charlie butts in on Alan's milestone moment with his son by offering his own words of wisdom on women. While Alan feels somewhat jealous that Charlie is taking over, he realizes that he also feels envious that his son is receiving some solid advice on scoring with women that he wishes his brother had once taught him. | | Guest Stars: Ralph Cole, Jr. as Ricky, Stephanie Brown as Connie | Director: Lee Aronsohn
Teleplay: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre | | | |
| 71 :03x23 - Arguments for the Quickie (May/15/2006) | | When Charlie finds out that Mia is in town with her dance troupe and has invited him to her performance, he opts not to go and tries to convince Alan (and himself) that he's over her. After surprising Alan (and himself) by showing up, Charlie gets another surprise when Mia explains that she wants something personal from him -- his sperm. Shockingly, commitment-phobic Charlie responds by asking Mia for something as well. | | Guest Stars: Art Bonilla as Angry Man (O.S.), Raymond Ma as Mr. Park, Irena A. Hoffman (1) as Fawn, Maria Tornberg as Theresa, Cheyenne Casebier as Jennifer, April Bowlby as Kandi, Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia | Director: James Widdoes
Story: Susan Beavers, Don Foster (1) | Teleplay: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre | | | |
| 72 :03x24 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite (May/22/2006) | | Wedding bells loom as Charlie and Mia make wedding arrangements. But when their families meet, things immediately begin to fall apart. Rose takes the news of the engagement hard, and makes some interesting plans of her own. Additionally, there are questions as to where Alan and Jake will live after Charlie and Mia get married. Ultimately, Charlie and his bride-to-be end up deciding on a small ceremony in Vegas, where a wedding ultimately ensues. | | Guest Stars: Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia, April Bowlby as Kandi, John Vance as Leon, Steven Shaw as Reverend Yarnell | Director: James Widdoes
Story: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn | Teleplay: Susan Beavers, Don Foster (1) | | | |
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