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Season 5

97 :05x01 - Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Charlie and Alan try to get Jake ready for his first day of junior high, but end up doing more harm than good.
Guest Stars: Kris Iyer as Dr. Pranjeep | Brian Turk as Mike |
Co-Guest Stars: Monica Young as Julie
Director: Ted Wass

98 :05x02 - Media Room Slash Dungeon

Both Charlie and Alan have odd reactions to their respective nights -- Charlie spends an evening with his mother and Alan is given a weird response after having sex with his date.
Guest Stars: Janeane Garofalo as Sharon | Jennifer O'Dell as Margaret |
Co-Guest Stars: Michael Potter as Henry | Holly King as Mitzi
Director: Ted Wass

99 :05x03 - Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

After going out with too many bimbos, Charlie lets Alan set him up with a woman his own age.
Special Guest Stars: Ming-Na as Linda (Linda Harris, as Ming Wen) |
Guest Stars: Jud Tylor as Deedee | Kimberly Quinn as Donna |
Co-Guest Stars: Paige Peterson (1) as Hooker | Kurt Scholler as Bailiff | J.J. Rodgers as Luanne
Director: Ted Wass

100 :05x04 - City of Great Racks

Charlie nearly consummates his relationship with Linda, but when he sees Rose's face everywhere, he's unable to.
Special Guest Stars: Melanie Lynskey as Rose | Ming-Na as Linda (Linda Harris, as Ming Wen) |
Guest Stars: Jane Lynch as Dr. Freeman (Dr. Linda Freeman) |
Co-Guest Stars: Anna Graves as Flight Attendant
Director: James Widdoes
Songs: Bianca Ryan -- The Rose

101 :05x05 - Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Alan discovers that Charlie hasn't had a paid gig for months and finds way to cut back on the expenses and earn a bit of extra cash. Charlie meets Linda's son and ends up spending a day with him.
Special Guest Stars: Ming-Na as Linda (Linda Harris, as Ming Wen) |
Guest Stars: Ernie Grunwald as Clinician |
Co-Guest Stars: Matt McKenzie (1) as Gary | Elijah Michael Lee as Brandon
Director: James Widdoes

102 :05x06 - Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Charlie is annoyed when his girlfriend is embarassed to be around him in public. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to go to a concert despite Alan forbidding him to do so.
Special Guest Stars: Ming-Na as Linda (Linda Harris, as Ming Wen) |
Co-Guest Stars: Jeanine Giovanni as Melina | Richard V. Licata as Councilman Stewart
Director: James Widdoes

103 :05x07 - The Leather Gear Is In The Guest Room

Charlie and Alan fight over Alan's place in the household, leading Alan and Jake to move in to Evelyn's.
Special Guest Stars: Robert Wagner as Teddy |
Guest Stars: Jennifer Taylor as Nina
Director: Ted Wass

104 :05x08 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Charlie discovers he may have a new career as a children's singing star.
Guest Stars: Richard Kind as Artie | Ion Overman as Vicki |
Co-Guest Stars: Gregg Marx as Announcer | Kate Luyben as Woman | Lexi Jourden as Dakota | Tina Morasco as Summer
Director: Ted Wass

105 :05x09 - Tight's Good

Teddy's daughter proves to be an irresistible temptation for Charlie.
Special Guest Stars: Jenny McCarthy as Courtney | Robert Wagner as Teddy
Director: Jean Sagal

106 :05x10 - Kinda Like Necrophilia

Alan sets out to get Charlie back when he learns that Charlie stole his high school girlfriend from him.
Guest Stars: Justine Eyre as Gabrielle |
Co-Guest Stars: Laura McLauchlin as Charity
Director: Ted Wass

107 :05x11 - Meander To Your Dander

Charlie teaches Alan the finer points on breaking up with a female.
Guest Stars: Kimberly Quinn as Donna | Eve Gordon as Brenda |
Co-Guest Stars: Gracie Maddox as Lilly | Sandra Robinson as Georgia (as Sandra Dee Robinson)
Director: James Widdoes

108 :05x12 - A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

A sick Charlie receives unique nursing from Rose, as she returns from England.
Special Guest Stars: Melanie Lynskey as Rose |
Guest Stars: Cerina Vincent as Lulu |
Co-Guest Stars: Sun Park as Manicurist
Director: James Widdoes

109 :05x13 - The Soil is Moist

Alan goes on a date with an old friend of Judith's, who spends the night gossiping about Judith's past sex life.
Guest Stars: Christina Moore as Cynthia (Cynthia Sullivan) | Ryan Stiles as Herb (Herb Melnick)
Director: James Widdoes

110 :05x14 - Winky-Dink Time

As Charlie and Jake set up a double date, Charlie arranges for Alan to accompany a prostitute on his date.
Special Guest Stars: Melanie Lynskey as Rose |
Guest Stars: Kathryn Gordon as Jess | Hayley Erin as Milly | Carrie Reichenbach as Alexis |
Co-Guest Stars: Jamison Haase as Waiter
Director: James Widdoes

111 :05x15 - Rough Night in Hump Junction

Alan fears that Charlie's womanizing has gone too far.
Guest Stars: Jane Lynch as Dr. Freeman (Dr. Linda Freeman) | Emmanuelle Vaugier as Mia | Andrea Bogart as Gretchen | Anastasia Roark as Pepper |
Co-Guest Stars: Henry Dittman as Man | Jen Lilley as Bridesmaid #4 | Jennifer Keyes as Bridesmaid #3 | Keena Ferguson as Bridesmaid #2 | Mikki Padilla as Bridesmaid #1 | Alison Shanks as Woman | Clint Carmichael as Fred | Barry Livingston as Sam
Director: James Widdoes

112 :05x16 - Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Alan works to plan Evelyn's wedding. Meanwhile, Charlie has a fling with his future step-sister.
Special Guest Stars: Jenny McCarthy as Courtney | Robert Wagner as Teddy | Melanie Lynskey as Rose |
Co-Guest Stars: Steve Tom as Minister
Director: Joel Zwick

113 :05x17 - Fish in a Drawer

Evelyn and Teddy tie the knot but a shocking event requires the services of local police detectives.
Special Guest Stars: Jenny McCarthy as Courtney | Robert Wagner as Teddy |
Guest Stars: Michael Lowry as Wes Tosterone | Jamie Rose as Sloane Jagov | Carrie Reichenbach as Alexis |
Co-Guest Stars: Nicole Malgarini as Misty | Dan Cole as Clown | Nakia Syvonne as Angel | Hollie Stenson as Destinee | Hope Allen as Jenna | Brett Wagner as Cell Mate | Ping Wu as Coroner | John Burke as Detective Henry Ketchum |
Uncredited: George Eads as George
Director: Jeff Melman

114 :05x18 - If My Hole Could Talk

Charlie finds himself drawn to an older author of self help books, while Alan and Jake are fighting over a assignment for school.
Guest Stars: Jack Plotnick as Mike | Coby Ryan McLaughlin as Jeremy | Susan Blakely as Angie
Director: Jon Cryer

115 :05x19 - Waiting for the Right Snapper

Charlie's current flame has an adult son who is engaged to a girl he used to date.
Guest Stars: Susan Blakely as Angie | Virginia Williams as Tricia | Coby Ryan McLaughlin as Jeremy | Jane Lynch as Dr. Freeman (Dr. Linda Freeman) |
Co-Guest Stars: Rib Hillis as Justin
Director: Jeff Melman
Warning: Two and a Half Men guide may contain spoilers
Classification: Scripted
Genre: Comedy
Status: Final Season
Network: CBS ( USA)
Airs: Thursdays at 09:00 pm
Runtime: 30 Minutes
Premiere: September 22, 2003
Episode Order: 22
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