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Two and a Half Men: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Alan's dating dry spell turns out to be because he has been seeing his ex-wife on the sly.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 3x3
Production Number: 2T6505
Airdate: Monday October 03rd, 2005

Alternate Airdates:

NL (Veronica) Jan 28, 2010

Special Guest Stars
Melanie LynskeyMelanie Lynskey
As Rose

Mandy BentleyMandy Bentley
As Sexy Girl
Sandy BentleySandy Bentley
As Sexy Girl
Main Cast
Charlie SheenCharlie Sheen
As Charlie Harper
Jon CryerJon Cryer
As Alan Harper
Angus T. JonesAngus T. Jones
As Jake Harper
Marin HinkleMarin Hinkle
As Judith
Holland TaylorHolland Taylor
As Evelyn Harper
Episode Quotes
Jake: So how was your date?
Alan: It was fine.
Jake: Did ya get any?

Charlie: You know for the record, a nice dinner doesn't necessarily preclude carpet burns and a bite mark on your ass.
Alan: In this case, it was just dinner and a pleasant conversation.
Charlie: Well that's why God gave us Cinemax and an opposable thumb.

Charlie: C'mon, really, what's the big secret with these women?
Alan: Oh boy, I really don't want to get into it.
Charlie: They're hideous, right?
Alan: No.
Charlie: Insufferable?
Alan: No
Charlie: Inflatable?

Evelyn: Alan, we're all here because we love you.
Rose: And we don't wanna see you make a terrible mistake.
Berta: I'm just waiting for my toaster strudle to pop.

Rose: Not that it's any of my business but, I couldn't help but notice the matched set of rotating floozies on your deck earlier.
Charlie: They were for Alan, I was tryna get his mind off of Judith.
Rose: With a night of meaningless and personal group sex? What a good brother.

Other Episode Crew

CreatorChuck Lorre  |  Lee Aronsohn
Executive ProducerKim Tannenbaum  |  Eric Tannenbaum  |  Chuck Lorre  |  Mark Burg  |  Oren Koules  |  Lee Aronsohn
Co-Executive ProducerJeff Abugov  |  Don Foster  |  Eddie Gorodetsky  |  Susan Beavers
Supervising ProducerMark Roberts (2)
ProducerMichael Collier
Co-ProducerJoe Bella  |  Jim Patterson
Associate ProducerToti Levine
Production DesignerJohn Shaffner
EditorJoe Bella
CastingNikki Valko  |  Ken Miller (2)
Unit Production ManagerCarol Anne Miller
First Assistant DirectorMark K. Samuels
Second Assistant DirectorJoseph Stafford
MusicDennis C. Brown  |  Grant Geissman
Costume DesignerMary T. Quigley
HairstylistRalph M. Abalos
Set DecoratorAnn Shea (2)
Property MasterLee Lee Baird
Production Sound MixerBruce Peters
Script SupervisorMarilyn A. Bagley
Post Production SupervisorDennis McElroy
Re-Recording MixerKathy Oldham  |  Bob La Masney
Director of PhotographySteven V. Silver
Coordinating ProducerTatiana Nell
Executive ConsultantEric Lapidus
Associate DirectorJean Sagal
Casting AssociatePeter Pappas
Makeup ArtistJanice Berridge
Theme ByGrant Geissman  |  Lee Aronsohn  |  Chuck Lorre
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