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Two and a Half Men
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| Title: | Hi, Mr. Horned One |
| Episode Number: | 54 |
| Season: | 3 |
| Season Episode #.: | 6 |
| Original Airdate: | Monday October 24th, 2005 |
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Alan dislikes Isabella, Charlie's latest flame. Their rocky start spirals into suspicion of satanic rituals before an unexpeced turn of events scare Isabella off.
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| Alan: I hate to be a fuddy-duddy but we try to keep the house smoke free.
Isabella: I'm sorry (puts cigarette out in Jake's cereal) Charlie didn't say anything when I was smoking in bed last night.
Alan: Yeah well, Charlie's lungs aren't always on the same page as his penis.
| Alan: Listen, I don't wanna overstep my bounds, this is your house and you're free to bring into it whoever or whatever you choose but I do think I have the right to protect Jake from being exposed to certain people.
Charlie: Well then you better take him to a hotel for a few days because that girl ain't leavin' until one of us is dead.
| Isabella: (to Charlie) Hurry, Anacoth is hungry.
Alan: Anacoth is hungry?
Charlie: She's referring to her snake tattoo.
Alan: Oh.
Charlie: Her vagina's called Linda.
| Alan: OK i'll get him.
Alan: (to Charlie) Mom wants to ask you something.
Charlie: Hi Mom no. (hangs up phone immediately)
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