Vicki: Oh god I'm so full. I don't think I can put another thing in my mouth.
Alan: I hope that is just a figure of speech

Nina: I thought it was very exciting and since I'm only in town for the weekend, I think we should go absolutely crazy tonight.
Charlie: Is it too late to switch dates?
Vicki: Oooh, I'm up for that.
Charlie: No kidding
Vicki: As long as we can switch back
Charlie: Alan, I believe it is time to get the check
Alan: Agreed
(shouts to passing waiter)
Charlie: Check, please.

Alan: Be right back
(Alan stands up)
Charlie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going?
Alan: The little boys room
(Alan walks away from table)
Charlie: (mumbles) He means the little cheap bastards room
Vicki: What's that Charlie?
Charlie: Nothing, I'll be right back

(Entering Charlie's house)
Charlie: I can't believe I missed out on a sure thing, cause I was sittin' on the can listening to you not take a crap.
Alan: Your actually blaming me cause I had to go to the bathroom.
Charlie: You didn't have to go to the bathroom, you were trying to stick me with the check.
Alan: Oh, oh, I see so you know my bowels better then I do.
Charlie: I will when I pull them out through your nostrils.
Alan: Well, I don't have to listen to this.
(Alan walks away, towards his room)
Charlie: What's your hurry, you see a check coming?