Berta: Really? The one who works for him?
Charlie: Yep.
Berta: Tinkerbell, with the knockers?
Charlie: The same.

Berta: Nah, everybody makes that mistake once. I crossed that line in the seventies when I was cleaning house for Mr. Telly Savalas.
Charlie: No kiddin', TV's Kojak?
Berta: One and the same.
Charlie: What happened?
Berta: What do you think happened, he's Greek, a man of passion. You can't tie your shoes around those guys.
Charlie: That's rough.
Berta: You bet your ass it's rough!

Charlie: Listen buddy, you're gonna have to make yourself scarce, maybe take a cab home.
Jake: You take a cab home, I'm doing great!
Charlie: How do you figure?
Jake: Are you blind? First base on the top of my head, second base in my ear.

Charlie: Listen to me knucklehead, that woman's gotta be ten years older than you.
Jake: So? You're like fifteen years older than her! Step aside Grandpa!