...youwillnotwin... - Recap

Tara rides her cycle to a man's house, checks his identity (Bryce) and
holds a pistol to his head. She says they call her Justice. He says she
has the wrong guy. She pulls the trigger twice, but nothing happens. She
tells him he's dead, and walks away. He can't slam the door fast enough.

Marshall and Kate sing oom-boop. Max works the grill, and Charmaine
whines that she needs to get the baby out. Ted tells her and Neil that
they don't need to get married. His parents never should have gotten
married. They're doing the right thing. Max hands Ted the plate of food
and asks him to pass them out. He finds Tara, who has no idea where
she's been lately. He wants her to call the cops and have them bust the
party so he can have sex with his wife, please. She just laughs, and
kisses him.

Kate comes up, drinking beer. She says Tara can't stop her because she
doesn't live under her roof anymore. Charmaine says no, but you live
under mine! So no beer until 21.

Tara and Kate debate as to whether or not people need a college degree
anymore. Tara would kill to go back to college. Kate says check
Charmaine. Owns her own home, runs her own business - doesn't have a
degree. Charmaine says she does have a degree, and Kate says in a way,
she's making her point. Tara says she's the one who doesn't have a
degree. Biggest mistake of her life. Ted knows the Dean of Admissions,
so he can put in a good word for her. She's interested, even if she and
Max already discussed it. She announces that he worries about her, and
Max says she does make it interesting.

Neil announces over the microphone that he can't imagine life without
Charmaine at his side, so will she marry him. She says no.

Marshall watches the video over and over. Tara feels really bad for
Neil. Max asks him to turn it off, and erase it. He says he can erase
the tape, but not his mind. And Marshall knows it is none of his
business, but he thinks it would be really great if mom were to go back
to school. Max pokes Marshall in the chest and tells him he never liked him.

Max wants to hash it out. Tara says it's one semester, she's just a few
credits short. What's he so scared of, that she's going to transition?
It's going to happen. Won't matter where she is, she is going to
transition, be it on the couch or at school. Max says the past year was
pretty tough, and things are good now. He thinks they both could use a
little stability around here. Tara thinks stability went out the window
the minute they moved in together. She wants to do this. She doesn't
want to spend her life being the woman who has DID.

Lionel and Marshall squabble over what they are to each other. Marshall
changes the subject to a camera he wants to get. $700. He only has $300.
He agrees to put in half. They'll own property together then. It is a
commitment. Lionel says he's not worried. He loves their little camera
baby.

Tara got the go-ahead for school, so she's looking at the course catalog
when Max walks up. He found out where she was, since she got pulled over
when she was out on the cycle. Buck was in Salina doing 95 in a 60. No
helmet, no license. She doesn't know what's in Salina. Max says it
wouldn't be a big deal if he hadn't lost another job today. Country
Club. Their biggest contract. Poachers, undercutting his lowest bid so
he can't compete. Tara tries to reassure him. Her going back to school
means she could get a real job, and start contributing to the family.
Max says great. Then he has nothing to worry about. But that's not what
his expression and tone say.

Kate and Charmaine work on her Etsy headbands. Kate thinks she needs to
get a real job. Charmaine says she can't, because if she does, then who
will take care of her? Kate says she should call Neil. Charmaine starts
spouting off about independent women. Kate doesn't look happy to hear
that Charmaine views her as the woman who will help her raise her baby.

Tara arrives, all dolled up for school. She just needs to fill out a few
papers, and she's good to go. Kate's very happy. Charmaine thinks Tara
just pushed through the whole abuse thing, while Charmaine feels totally
emotionally obstructed.

She's surprised how fast Tara got over mom telling them about Bryce.
Does Tara ever think about him? Is she trying to find him? Tara says no,
absolutely not. She heads out.

Neil arrives with everything Charmaine needs, because he cares. Despite
his public humiliation. He opens the refrigerator door and sees her
wedding cake.

Somebody knocks at a man's door, and he answers repeatedly, but refuses
to say 'come in.' He's Dr. Harris, Tara introduces herself. His class is
full. She goes to bat for him to let her in. He says yes, and hands her
the syllabus. He calls her a kiss-ass and gives her her first
assignment. She wants him to sign off on a slip, and he says that if he
reads and likes her essay, he'll sign.

Kate sells herself at an interview. It sounds really bad, since she has
so many counts against her. She says she can write for the magazine, and
the interviewer tells her this is an admin position. Besides. Is this
her? He turns around the monitor, and Kate is performing onscreen.

Charmaine asks Neil to pick up a different lotion for her, since this
one is oil-based and clogs up her pores. He marches over to the fridge,
grabs her cake, sits down and prepares to eat it. She threatens to lose
it if he eats it. He eats it. She chases him around the table while he
tells her the truth. People save their cakes to remember the wonderful
wedding she didn't have. Charmaine claims she's memorializing the day
she became an independent woman. Neil laughs. He tells her he's not
eating cake, he's eating her bull. What does that mean? He knows they
don't live together. But he buys her groceries, pays her cable bill, and
gives her emotional support so no. She's not an independent woman. She
plays the pity card and says she's not ready for a partner. Why doesn't
Neil get that? He tells her she has a partner, and leaves. She puts the
cake back together.

Max tells Tara he's going bowling and for drinks with Neil so he doesn't
feel like such a loser. How's class coming? She says she's in over her
head, but she'll figure it out. He says she always does. She tells him
to go. Get drunk, have fun.

Tara proceeds to do everything but her school work.

Marshall can't figure out why Kate is so bummed. She blew one interview,
so what. She hates the internet. The stupidest thing she's ever done may
as well be tattooed right on her forehead. She hates Barnaby's. If she'd
known they were coming here for dinner, she would not have joined them.
Tara tries to stop her, but she's not listening. Tara wants to know if
they serve alcohol here, because she needs a drink. Marshall doesn't
think she should be drinking since she has that paper to write tonight.
She says it's not going so well. What if she can't pull this off. What
if she's already everything she's ever going to be?

Kate tells her to stop talking like that. One of the waitresses comes
from out back. She knew it was Kate, she wants to know about her life.
She heard she was bi. Kate says she can't talk about it now. The
waitress gives her a clam basket that was returned. Three more waitstaff
join them, and one asks about a video he saw. Kate vomits on the table.

Charmaine goes into labor while she's eating, and Kate is gone. She
calls Neil. She runs all over trying to find somebody to take her to the
hospital, but everybody is gone except Ted.

Max and Ted are having a blast bowling. They commiserate about what's
going on in their lives. Max isn't happy about Tara going back to
school. He speaks to Neil in confidence. The real reason Tara dropped
out of school last time was because she tried to kill herself. He
already knew that, Charmaine told him. Max is afraid that if things get
tough again, she'll try to take another easy out.

Neil gives him good news. He has no control. Tara will do what she wants
to do, how and when and where she wants to and there's not a damn thing
Max can do about it. Neil finds that he missed 11 calls.

Charmaine's doctor tells her she's not in active labor yet. The baby
hasn't dropped and her cervix is tight as a drum. The pains were
Braxton-Hicks. Neil asks everybody to leave so he can speak to her. They
leave, and he tells her he's moving in. This is important to him. She's
important to him. And he's important to her, too. She says okay, he can
have the couch.

Max brings Tara tea and cookies. He can scrounge up some crank if she
needs it. He apologizes for not being supportive, and reminds her of why
exactly he is afraid. She tells him she's sick of disappearing, and
being the least interesting person inside her. He tells her she's not.
Chicken is. She should use him if she needs him, because he spells real
good-like.

Tara tries to start again. Whoever takes over starts typing all manner
of filth, ending with "youwillnotwin." Tara picks up a pencil and jams
it into her arm. Buck stops her, and is joined by three other
personalities. Tara needs them, now more than ever. They'll help her.
Tara just needs to type.


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