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WKRP in Cincinnati: Bailey's Show

Andy gives Baileys idea of a hosting a public-service interview show called "Cincinnati Beat," but discovers it is difficult to find potential guests who are not insane.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x6
Production Number: 006
Airdate: Monday October 23rd, 1978

Guest Stars
Woodrow ParfreyWoodrow Parfrey
As Dr. Hyman Monroe
Woodrow ParfreyWoodrow Parfrey
As Dr. Hyman Monroe
Casey Brown (1)Casey Brown (1)
As Mrs. Olson

Berry KroegerBerry Kroeger
As Mr. Eisenhower
Main Cast
Gary SandyGary Sandy
As Andy Travis
Gordon JumpGordon Jump
As Arthur "Big Guy" Carlson
Gordon JumpGordon Jump
As Arthur "Big Guy" Carlson
Howard HessemanHoward Hesseman
As Johnny "Fever" Caravella
Howard HessemanHoward Hesseman
As Johnny "Fever" Caravella
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Elvis PresleyJailhouse Rock 

Episode Quotes
Herb: Good morning everybody, sorry I'm late unless I'm not.

Les: Andy, this isn't the Ohio State Journalism School. This is the big time.

Johnny: I don't do interviews. That's in my contract.
Andy: You don't have a contract.
Johnny: Well, if I had one, it'd be in there. Shouldn't I have a contract?

Bailey: Now Mrs Woodroffe, can you tell me briefly why you would like to be interviewed on our show?
Mrs Woodroffe: Yes, I feel I have a certain responsibility to other Earthlings.

Venus: Think I'll split.
Bailey: Okay.
Mrs Woodroffe: You see, my hatchback supreme broke down on a deserted stretch of highway. Now, that's when I saw the incredibly bright light and felt myself compelled to walk toward it.
Venus: Think I'll stay.
Mrs Woodroffe: Before I knew it, I was surrounded by a group of strange people in gold lamé suits.
Venus: That would either be the Temptations or the Four Tops.
Bailey: Go on, Mrs Woodroffe.
Mrs Woodroffe: Well, anyhow, to make a long, internationally-copyrighted story short, I was beamed aboard their spaceship - what they call a Getgone - and transported to Hachacha #3. That's what you people call Mars.
Venus: Did this place have heavy metal screens on the windows?
Mrs Woodroffe: Yes!
Venus: Lucky guess!

Mrs Woodroffe: One day, I'm just sitting around, minding my own business, when a drell comes up, who's obviously had one too many wowies to drink. Well, I got his joystopper away from him, and shot him twice, right through the nurel! Then, I made my way back to Cincinatti.
Bailey: But you're okay now.
Mrs Woodroffe: Oh yes. Well, except they're still after me. Ernst wants our son back. I can't really blame him.

Johnny: Hi, Hy.
Dr Hyman Munro: Hi.
Johnny: Hy...
Dr Munro: Hi.
Johnny: Hy - perhaps I should call you Dr Munro.

Dr Munro: (holding up chart) This is - can everybody see this?
Johnny: (pointing to microphone) This is radio, Doctor.
Dr Munro: (coming up to the microphone and pointing the chart at it) Well, what this chart shows is...

Dr Munro: My studies have established without a doubt that children are, by adult standards, insane!
Johnny: And that's bad?
Dr Munro: Well, sure!
Johnny: So what should we do about it?
Dr Munro: Round the little guttersnipes up!

Jennifer: (to Bailey) If you can't handle Herb, Les and the Big Guy, who in this world can you handle?

Jennifer: Bailey, women who want to be broadcast producers do not cry in public.
Bailey: Then I'll cry in my car on the way home.
Jennifer: (brightly) That's the way men do it!

Mr Carlson: (dismissing Herb and Les from his office) Did I say send in the clowns? Huh?

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