Les: Johnny, would you try to look like a dedicated professional?
Johnny: Sure. (He slips his shirt off one shoulder and Les takes a picture)
Herb: Venus, I'm glad you're here. Would you mind stepping over here under the WKRP sign? (Venus doesn't move) That's terrific. That'll be fine, right there.
Andy: Bailey, have we got everybody's home address?
Bailey: Yeah, I think so. It's all right here. (Points to her Rolodex)
Andy: You got Johnny's?
Bailey: (looking) Fever... Nope.
Andy: You got Les's?
Bailey: (looking) Nessman... Nope.
Andy: Do you have yours?
Bailey: (looking) Uh uh.
Andy: (peering over her shoulder) Do you have anybody's?
Bailey: Yeah. A Mr Luis De Angelisto.
Andy: Who's he?
Bailey: I don't know.
Andy: Heckuva system you got there, Bailey.
Herb: This morning, Venus Flytrap threatened Les Nessman physically, then tried to stick Ecktochrome into my mouth.
Herb: (enunciating) This morning, Venus Flytrap - tell him, Les.
Les: Andy, this morning, Venus Flytrap -
Les: Bailey, you're his friend. What do you really know about Venus?
Bailey: You promise not to tell?
Les: I swear.
Bailey: Well, uh... you're gonna think this is a little crazy at first, but uh... I think he's black.
Les: Andy, do you realize he comes in here late at night when none of us are around?
Andy: (conspiratorially) Yeeees, go on.
Les: Why do you think he does that, Andy?
Andy: I think it's because he's a night-time DJ, Les.
Bailey: Johnny, could you please tell me where you live?
Johnny: You been there.
Bailey: Yeah, but I need the address.
Johnny: Address. You know, I walk by that mailbox every day.
Bailey: Well, what about the phone number?
Johnny: Phone number. I know there are seven digits... I I, It starts 6-5 - no, no, it's a 2...
Les: (reading a news bulletin) And in fact, there are many examples in history of hogs replacing horses. In the ninteenth century, an Englishman trained swine and drove four in hand through London with these curious steeds. Altogether with its potentialism repressed as it ordinarily is, the pig is a veritable Pandora's Box of exciting possibilities. This has been Les Nessman with a wrap-up of today's major news stories.
Venus: This is WKRP in Cincinnati, with more music and Les Nessman.
Mr Carlson: (to himself while looking at his inflated raft on his desk) If I could just figure a way to deflate this darn thing... I'll never get it through that door. Ooh, I hate to do this. (He holds a pair of scissors, point down, above his head)
Andy: (entering room) Hi.
Mr Carlson: Hi Travis, c'mon in.
Andy: Sacrificing rafts?
Venus: Mr Carlson look, I don't expect you to understand me, or my generation, or my colour, or that war I got stuck in. But I'm a decent man, yes sir I am.
Mr Carlson: Where's my phone?
Andy: It's, uh, under your raft, sir.
Venus: Hi, I'm Gordon Sims.
Mr Carlson: Venus, that's not gonna work!
Major Hunter: Sit down, gentlemen. Now, Mr Sims...
Mr Carlson: Look, he's not Sims. His name is Venus Flytrap.
Major Hunter: Oh, then you're Sims. How many years have you been hiding?
Venus: Okay. Here's my story.
Mr Carlson: Now, this is his story. You write this down.
Major Hunter: Who is this man?
Venus: My father.
Venus: Isn't that amazing? One day you're in a chopper over Nam with a guy named Weird Larry, and a few days later you're driving down the freeways of L.A. And you're not even 23 yet!
Les: Oh Andy, Venus gave us his address and phone number.
Andy: Uh huh. What do you make of that?
Les: Well I don't know. Where has he been lately? I haven't seen him for days.
Andy: You want the truth?
Les: I can take it.
(Andy pulls him aside and begins to speak, but then looks suspiciously at Jennifer)
Andy: (whispering) He's working for the United States Army.
Les: What's he doing for them?
Andy looks in one direction, then the other, to make sure no one is listening.
Andy: (still whispering) He's peeling potatoes.
Les: (shocked) Oooo.