WPIG Announcer: This is your Pig's Eye in the Sky reporting, Cincinnati's only helicopter traffic report, saying (WHIIZZZZ!!) What the hell was that???
Les: This is Les Nessman, WKRP's Fish Eye in the Sky! Reporting that traffic's a snarled mess down there and that we're about to hit a bridge. Aahhhhhh!!!!!
Les: Buddy - Buddy, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire you.
Buddy, the pilot: Okay. I'm a crop duster anyway. Showbiz ain't my game.
Les: But I won't!
Buddy: Won't what?
Les: Fire you!
Buddy: Doesn't matter!
Les: Okay, you're not fired. But from now on, I am in complete charge. Okay, you're in charge, but you better be careful because I'm watching you. Okay, I won't watch you.
Jennifer: Hi Les. Mr Carlson and Andy would like to see you immediately.
Les: What about?
Jennifer: Did you go flying this morning? (Les nods sheepishly)
Les: Everybody around here thinks I'm crazy! Fortunately, you know better than that. (Jennifer says nothing) Fortunately, you know better than that.
Mr Carlson: How long, oh Lord, must I suffer?
Les: Mr Carlson, what we've got here is a helicopter gap.
Les: Travis, the very first day you came to this station you promised to get me a helicopter.
Andy: I know I did, Les, but that was a long time ago and I was lying.
(Bailey picks up the wrong sheet of paper)
Bailey: Leading off with the news, two bananas, wheatgerm and sixteen vitamin C pills... more in a minute.
Johnny: (on the phone with Les) I thought Carlson grounded you. Oh he did, did he. Uh huh. You know, Lester, you're lying. No, it doesn't make any difference to me, I just wanted to make note of the fact, that's all.
Bailey: I bet all the other stations could help.
Herb: Why should they?
Bailey: Well, if you were in competition with us, would you want us to lose Les?
Les: Buddy, could you please turn the engine back on?
Buddy: I can't, Les. We're outa gas. Hey Les?
Les: Yes, Buddy?
Buddy: One heck of a Veteran's Day, huh Les? We'll have to do this again sometime!
Les: Yes, Buddy, we certainly should.