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WKRP in Cincinnati
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| Title: | Jennifer Moves |
| Episode Number: | 48 |
| Season: | 3 |
| Season Episode #.: | 2 |
| Production Number: | 048 |
| Original Airdate: | Saturday November 08th, 1980 |
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Jennifer enlists the help from the gang at WKRP to help her move into her new $125,000 house in the quiet suburb of Landersville, only the neighborhood is not as quiet as she thought.
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| Herb: I read somewhere that solar energy is dangerous. It leaks or something.
| Bailey: Herb, at this very moment, I despise you with every fiber of my being.
| Venus: (in an English accent) Ta ta! Well Miss Marlowe, my assistant Smedley and I have brought this frightfully heavy but charming piece of furniture all the way from the truck.
Jennifer: Thanks awfully, Reg.
Andy: (speaking jive) Hey mamma, where you want dis sucka?
Jennifer: Upstairs.
Andy: Upstairs!?
Jennifer: That's right.
Andy: You know what? I think it looks good right down here. Heck yeah, you can come down here in the morning, cook breakfast and get dressed right here in the kitchen.
Jennifer: You're cute.
Andy: Where d'ya want it upstairs?
Jennifer: Third floor.
| Johnny: Comin' through, make way - Jennifer's jewelry.
Mr Carlson: (following closely behind, carrying nothing) I'm the guard.
| Les: My great aunt Eureka Nessman lived in a house very like this once, all alone. She had a little parakeet and she used to let it fly free throughout the house.
Jennifer: Really.
Les: Then she bought another parakeet, and another, and more and more until finally there were thousands of parakeets. And the mess they made was beyond belief. Aunt Eureka had gone insane of course, living all alone in a house very much like this one.
| Jennifer: I'm Jennifer Marlowe, your new next-door neighbor.
Ken: Really?
| Ken: I can't believe this. I really can't believe this is happening to me.
| Johnny: (on Ken) Think we oughta get a blanket and cover him up?
| Herb: Unless someone comes out here right now and helps me with this piano, I'm never ever going to speak to any of you again for as long as I live!!
(No one moves)
| Jennifer: I'm Jennifer Marlowe, your new next-door neighbor.
Dotty: Really?
Jennifer: And these are my friends.
Dotty: I can't believe this is happening to me! (She gets the hiccups)
Jennifer: Would you like to sit down?
Johnny: Jennifer, where do you keep those blankets?
| Wayne Craven: I represent a new service we have called "Welcome Neighbor." Just our friendly way of saying, "Hi. How's it going? We're here to help."
Jennifer: (not impressed) Well, isn't that nice.
| Wayne: (referring to Dotty) What seems to be the problem here?
Johnny: Well, her lavender Princess phone exploded this morning.
| Mr Furgood: This earth of ours is no garden of Eden. It's more like a dark foreboding place where virtue is often ripped apart by incessive greed!
| Bailey: Have you noticed that all the men in Landersville are going bald? I wonder if there's a nuclear power plant in the area.
| Johnny: You're a classy dame, Marlowe.
Jennifer: So are you, Johnny.
Johnny: 'Scuse me?
| Herb: Well, I lost it. Ken and I just about had it, and then this woman grabbed Ken, and the piano rolled out of the driveway and down the street. I chased it - I chased it for about two blocks, but you live on an incline, and the thing just kept getting faster and faster.
Venus: You raced a piano?
Herb: Yeah.
Venus: Damn, Herb's all right.
| Jennifer: Well, you tried.
Herb: I was hoping you'd see it that way.
| Policeman: This woman claims your piano rolled down the street and rear-ended a hatchback.
Jennifer: Sit down, folks. Sherry?
Policeman: No thanks, I'm on duty.
Old lady: I wouldn't mind some. (she takes a huge swig from the bottle)
(Thunder, lightening, the lights flicker on and off)
Jennifer: (perfectly composed) Ignore it.
Policeman: Oh, by the way, there's a sex pervert in the neighbourhood posing as an employee of the phone company.
Old Lady: He's quite nice.
| Jennifer: So I decided to turn in around midnight -
Les: Midnight? Never turn in at midnight!
Jennifer: Is that wrong?
Les: Well, of course it is!
Jennifer: Well, I didn't know that!
Les: Grow up, Jennifer!
Jennifer: All right. Anyhow, I started to hear these noises on the third floor. Such strange noises! I couldn't decide if it was a sound or a voice.
(As she speaks, her co-workers gather round her, listening)
Les: You have a very evil house! I knew that! I knew it! Go on.
Jennifer: Then I started to climb the stairs to the third floor, and as I did, the hall light went out. I just froze! I couldn't go back, because I couldn't see, but I could go forward, because ... because from under the third floor bedroom door a light appeared. Something or someone was in that room. But that door is always locked! I don't really know what happened next, I thought I might faint, because there was a force - a power! So I turned around, and the thing spoke to me.
Les: (engrossed) Well? What did it say?
Jennifer: It said, "Wheeeere's Les?"
(Everyone except Les turns to leave. Herb stays to watch a little while longer)
Les: What?
Jennifer: It said, "Wheeeere's Les Nessman? So I said, "He's gone home. But if you come down to the kitchen, I'll give you his phone number and address." And so I did, and the thing thanked me, and it went away.
(She turns to her desk, and Les turns aside, pondering all this. A few seconds later the phone rings. Jennifer answers it)
Jennifer: WKRP. Les, it's for you.
(Les slowly backs away from the phone)
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