Les: This is Les Nessman, saying, this is Les Nessman.
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Les: (Les's commentary) America? Who was that lady I saw you with last night? Could it have been the sweet seductress known as the Communist conspiracy? Was it she who stood under the streetlights, luring the farm boys with her broad shoulders? Beware! Think about it!
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Les: Are you going to yell at me?
Andy: Of course not, Les, I don't yell. I'm an easy-going guy with a natural ability to lead. People seem to want to do what I tell 'em.
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Andy: The Secret Service seems to have the impression that you might pose some sort of a threat. It's crazy, isn't it?
Les: It's because I work for a rock and roll station, isn't it?
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Les: Don't they know who I am? Don't I have a reputation?
Andy: Well, we're not gonna let that stand in our way.
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Mr Carlson: Maybe we could send you somewhere else for a week or two, say a farm community with a fast-breaking livestock scandal.
Andy: Mr Carlson, this no longer a question of just getting Les outta town for a few days!
Les: (musing) Fast-breaking livestock scandal?
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Les: You people are afraid of me.
Agent Berwick: (deadpan) Uh huh.
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Berwick: Some people think that we get carried away with our security measures, but - Nessman? (He pulls out a thick file) AKA the News Beacon of the Ohio Valley.
Les: Oooo!
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Berwick: It's your radical affiliations, Mr Nessman.
Andy: What radical affiliations?
Les: Well, I am a member of the Hoedown Square-Dancing Club.
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Mr Carlson: (shouting) That kid is no more a radical Communist threat than I am!
Berwick: Your name is Travis?
Mr Carlson: Oh now wait a minute.
Berwick: Andy Travis?
Mr Carlson: Uh huh.
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Andy: Leave?? Me? (confused) W-w-well, I attend all the meetings.
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Mr Carlson: Les, your father, he's alive.
Les: (confused) Well, he's buried.
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Les: Mother hates divorce! She hates it, just like she hates Communism! She always told me that Communists were - (realizing) unreliable.
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Harvey Moorhouse, the barber: (Joking with Les) I'm not gonna get rich off you, am I?
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Les: Do you have any children that you know of?
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Les: Mr Moorhouse, why don't you find your son?
Harvey: Well, he's better off wherever he is, I know that.
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