Leena: How are you sleeping?
Artie: I'm not.
Leena: I could tell. Your aura looks like hell.
Artie: Then stop looking at it.

Myka: What is it with men and their balls?
Pete: Yeah.

Agent Bonnie Belski: Then you get exiled off the reservation into my town, humping my leg.
Pete: It's a nice leg.

Agent Bonnie Belski: Banks just hand over the money. Everyone's shy on the details.
Pete: Which is strange.
Agent Bonnie Belski: Tell me something I don't know.
Pete: Uh, Mary, Queen of Scots' croquet mallet was made from a petrified narwhal's horn. She never lost a match.

Artie: You know, um, I had a case once where pollen from a prehistoric plant turned a woman into a sexually rapacious sleepwalker. And she was unaware that she was doing that until she, you know, pulled the pants off...
Myka: Artie, uh... just be---be quiet.

Myka: What has Agent Belski done for you lately?
Pete: Um... she sashays.
Myka: Yeah.
Pete: A little bit.
Myka: No.
Pete: She doesn't even know it.
Myka: Oh, yes, she does. She does.

Myka: Okay, so what are we looking for, Artie? Are we looking for souped-up speakers or Thomas Edison's wax cylinder?
(Artie and Pete laugh)
Pete: Thomas Edison's what?
Artie: Ignore him.

Myka: You ever see that movie The Great Santini with the tough dad and the scared kids?
Pete: It's like that, huh?
Myka: Yeah, except it wasn't over in two hours.

Myka: You know how when you sing in the shower, and it bounces off the tiles, and you sound spectacular?
Artie: No, I never sound spectacular.

Agent Bonnie Belski: How does someone get invited to your party?
Pete: Oh, well... you don't get invited. You get shoved.

Myka: There's three suspects, including Fissel. One was a woman.
Pete: You sure?
Myka: Yeah, I... felt her.
Pete: You touched her boobies?

Artie: My name... doesn't matter. But I think you know who I represent.
Daniel: Flash Gordon?

Myka: Artie, I need you to find my cell phone.
Artie: I'm not your personal cell phone locator, okay?

Daniel: How they doing?
Artie: Oh, you know, they're... mostly, they're a pain in my ass.
Daniel: So am I.

Myka: You ever see that movie The Great Santini with the tough dad and the scared kids?

Talking about the 1979 movie starring Robert Duvall as an aviator who uses military discipline when dealing with his wife and children.