Kessman: A guy in tights just leaped over a building.
Pete: Yeah, best to omit that from your report.
Kessman: What report?
Pete: All right.

Pete: You are looking at a one-man Iron Shadow encyclopedia. Pick an issue, any issue.
Myka: I think we already know your issues, okay?

Myka: You're Joe Shmoe, you find an artifact that gives you superpower. What do you do?
Pete: I track down Ralph Brunsky and give him the mother of atomic wedgies in front of the entire seventh-grade class, or I don the guise of my all-time favorite superhero and fight crime.

Claudia: Don't fret, Artie said it's okay. Well what he actually said was, "Rrr rrr! Go! Go! Rarrf! Rarrf!

Claudia: But there's a kink. The suit's energy-siphoning abilities drain the wearer of all vital fluids, causing paralysis in 60 minutes.
Pete: Oh, I'm only gonna need sixty seconds, 'cause I'm gonna be all biff, bang, pow!
Claudia: And in men, it causes impotence.
Pete: Whoa. (gives it to Myka) Here you go, Wonder Woman.

Myka: Claudia! What's happening?
Claudia: His mass keeps increasing. He's approaching infinite density!
Pete: Well, that sucks for him.

Pete: And once again... the city is safe! (Myka and Claudia snicker) Why is that so funny? That's what—that's what they say.

Myka: It's Ophelia! Okay? Like from Hamlet. Yes, Ophelia. Let the mocking commence.
Pete: Ophelia. That's--that's kind of... beautiful. Can "Ophelia" boobies? Oh! Snap!