Pete: Eat shield, Stabby!

Artie: Everybody got all their limbs?
Pete: Yeah, that's a big ten fingers and ten toes, good buddy.

Pete: Oh, nice, Artie. You sure know how to take the fun out of believing in legends.
Artie: No, no, no. Some legends can have a bit of truth to them.
Pete: So--so there was a real Merlin the Magician?
Artie: Fiction.
Pete: Knights of the Round Table?
Artie: Bedtime story.
Pete: Holy Grail?
Artie: Anyway...

Claudia: Oh, you know, texting. It's what the kids do these days instead of going to dinosaur races.
Artie: I know what texting is. Also iTunes and color television.

Pete: Best assignment ever.
Myka: Just try not to be 12 years old, okay?
Pete: There is no try. Only do or do not
Myka: Then do.
Pete: I'll try.

Myka: What?
Pete: Just having a thought.
Myka: Well, is it a good thought?
Pete: Well, I'm gonna say yes. You're gonna say no. But I'm right, you're wrong.

Myka: I just don't understand why I have to be the model.
Pete: First of all, I don't have the legs for that. And a model and her manager won't stand out.
Myka: Oh, please, nobody will believe that, Pete, I don't know how to do this.
Pete: Just act like everyone's been put on the earth to serve you.
Myka: That's idiotic.
Pete: Just like that, perfect.

Pete: Nobody's got the picture of Dorian Gray hanging up for decoration.
Myka: Well, the real one's in the warehouse, anyway.
Pete: Is that what that is? Man, I've got to stop looking at that.

Artie: I'm so glad to see you looking like the old you. I mean, the young old you, not the old, old you…
Claudia: Come on, Gramps, you're having one of your mini strokes again.
Artie: You are aware that I'm your boss, right? You know that.
Claudia: Yes. Yes, crabby, come on.