Episode Quotes
Pete: Myka! Guess how many croissants I shoved into my mouth at once.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: One day you'll have to tell me how you got partnered up with that one.
Myka: Well, the croissant thing's actually kind of impressive when you see it.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: Yeah, at least it keeps him from talking.
Pete: Oh, that's right. You prefer your males to bark and hump your leg.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: I'm sure it's in your repertoire.
Dr. Vanessa Calder: Given your proclivity to appendicitis, I really still think we should remove it again.
Artie: Okay.
Dr. Vanessa Calder: Just prophylactically.
Pete: (snickering) "Prophylactically."
Artie: Shut up.
Pete: Maybe I'm wrong, but... are Vanessa and Artie sitting in a tree?
Artie: Ah, don't be absurd. We're two adults who just have a lot of professional respect for each other. And shut up.
Pete: K-I-S-S-I-N-G. I knew it! Newsflash: Artie is human.
Artie: Walk away.
Pete: You like her.
Artie: Stop it.
Pete: You want to hug her and kiss her...
Artie: I'm walking away.
Pete: ...and squeeze her. And all right! (slaps Artie's butt)
Artie: Don't touch me there.
Claudia: She's good.
Myka: Yeah, sure, in an obvious kind of way.
Claudia: Worked on Pete in London.
Myka: Well, that's not exactly scaling Mt. Everest, is it?
Pete: You, sir, have been growing back your appendix in an attempt to get Vanessa to visit the warehouse! That's so romantic.
Artie: Are you quite finished?
Pete: If only...
Artie: So, "no," then.
Pete: ...there were some way for you to... interact with Vanessa that did not involve invasive surgery. Perhaps some kind of... I don't know, social ritual. One involving the sharing of food or the enjoying of filmed entertainment with maybe some duds that have been milked. Ahh. I mean a date.
Artie: I know what you mean.
Myka: A grappling hook?
Helena: I designed it myself. What?
Myka: Nothing. It 's just a little old fashioned.
Helena: Well, it wasn't when I invented it. And it seems to have saved your life. And yet you're still wondering if I set this whole thing up just to prove my innocence.
Myka: Well, the thought did cross my mind somewhere between, "Holy crap, I'm going to die," and, "Oh, I'm flying!"
Helena: And what have you concluded?
Myka: The jury's still out.
Myka: Why were you bronzed?
Helena: The scales that Lady Justice holds are more easily tipped than one knows. The world is never as you think it should be.
Pete: Look, Doc Owens is out of town. His appendix is about to burst. so it's either the vet or the barber.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: An appendectomy? You do realize that most of the operations I perform are spaying and neutering?
Artie: Okay, the barber. The barber.
Artie: You don't have to miss out on having a real life like I did.
Pete: I'd be honored to have a a life like yours.
Artie: I'd be honored if you'd try for a little more.
Myka: Hey, you. How do you feel?
Claudia: Did I combust?
Myka: No.
Claudia: If that guy made me combust, I'm gonna be pissed.
Pete: I've been thinking that, uh, you know, sometimes... I can be kind of obnoxious in a fun and entertaining way and since it's already come up, you did mention that I was cute. Although now that I think of it, bunny rabbits and kittens are cute, so maybe it wasn't the compliment that I thought.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: Fine. Eating at the same table... but noting more and don't get any ideas.
Pete: I almost never do.
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: Chinese place on Main and we're going Dutch.
Pete: Couldn't we go to the Dutch place on Fifth and go Chinese?
Dr. Kelly Hernandez: Come on, Slappy, before I change my mind.
Cultural References
Dr. Calder's ringtone
The ringtone is the bionic "swooshing" noise made by the character Jaime Sommers from actress
Lindsay Wagner's series
The Bionic Woman Claudia: Very schmancy and Richie Rich.
Richie Rich is the "poor little rich boy" of Archie Comics. The jacketed blonde boy has a vast inherited fortune and uses it to have fun and benefit his friends.
Claudia: Stratego. What do you know?
Stratego is a board game where the objective is to capture your opponent's ranking piece, by moving numbered pieces across the checkerboard-like playing field. Higher-numbered pieces capture lower ones, but the lowest one captures the highest one.
Claudia: Spill it, Hulkling. Don't make me angry.
Hulkling is a Marvel Young Avenger who appears to be related to the Hulk, but is actually an alien shapeshifter with superhuman strength. The line "Don't make me angry" is from
the TV series, where in the first episode David Banner (
Bill Bixby) tells a reporter, "Don't make me angry... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."