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Allosaurus Crush Castle - Recap

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The episode begins and Nancy talks to a high-level executive of a search firm. He's fascinated that you can't see her bullet and admits he only took the meeting out of curiosity. Meanwhile, Andy continues to ignore Jill weeks after she slept with Doug. She announces she's pregnant, then says it's "almost for sure, at least it feels that way". Meanwhile, Stevie continues to show up the other kids on the soccer field. Nancy notices the other dads making a hand-off to one. She introduces herself to Terry, who explains it was prescription drugs. He's a drug rep. "You're the biggest drug dealer in town," she marvels. Meanwhile, Silas visits RJ in the psych ward.

He tells Silas the plants are in a closet in his parent’s house. Meanwhile, in the police academy, Shane gloats over 95%. Angela scored 97%. The instructor assigns everyone else who tanked it to write an essay about why they want to be cops. Shane hears two of them talk about their canceled plans for the night and offers to write their essays for $100 each. Meanwhile, on the soccer field, Nancy talks up her past drug selling experiences, including marketing and rebranding. Terry is more focused on their kids and suggests a play-date for Kyle at Stevie's, he and his wife haven't had a night to themselves in three years. They've been blacklisted by all the nannies. He begs Nancy, offering to talk to their HR person if she takes his kid for a night. She agrees.

Back home, Jill prepares to pee on a stick. Doug meanwhile, comes to talk to Andy, saying that sleeping with Jill "was definitely not cool". Meanwhile, Andy tells him Jill might be pregnant. In the bathroom, Jill curses repeatedly. Andy and Doug then try to figure out who'll take responsibility for the kid, perhaps with a game of pool. Jill meanwhile, confirms she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Silas wears all black and creeps onto a porch, finding the spare key under a garden gnome. He puts on his mask and goes in the darkened house. A bunch of people then jump out shouting "surprise". They think he's the stripper for a surprise birthday party and demand, he strip. Meanwhile, Kyle tries to play with Stevie, but instead just proclaims his dinosaur superior to Stevie's castle.

Jill joins Nancy and pours herself some wine, then passes it on to Nancy. They then turn to see Kyle stand up and stomp on Stevie's castle shouting "Allosaurus crush castle" Stevie shoves him and Kyle starts screaming like a baby. Meanwhile, In Doug's empty office he and Andy share a bottle of bourbon. Andy wonders if fatherhood would just cement his status as the glue of the Botwin family. Doug's partner meanwhile, comes in with a presumed hooker to use the bare mattress in the office. Nancy meanwhile, tries to reason with Kyle, threatening to microwave his dinosaur if he doesn't pull it together. She explains that if he keeps acting the way he is, people are going to hate him with he's older. She's tells him he might end up with people being nice to his face and alienating his family, a parable of her own life.

She then brings Kyle up to Shane and leaves him. She then finds Silas sweeping up his still empty grow house. He's drunk, and dressed like a ninja. He tells her about his plants being stolen and how he was going to steal them back. She can't believe she didn't tell her he got robbed. "We've got to stop doing this," she says. He meanwhile, wonders what he'd do; growing is what he's good at. Meanwhile, Shane stages a protest in the hallway with Stevie holding an "Occupy Hallway" sign and Kyle "tear gassing" him with silly string. Later, Andy climbs over them passed out on the living room floor and goes to sleep on the couch. Later, in the academy, Roberson the training officer busts Shane for writing the other essays. He wants a cut of whatever he made.

Shane suggests they work something out, since it won't be the last assignment he gives. "You're gonna do just fine in the NYPD," Roberson tells him. Nancy meanwhile, goes to see Terry the drug rep, who is delirious with gratitude. He says he already made a call on her behalf. He runs through all the drugs, including Moritor a synthetic pot. His company is working on products with real THC for when Washington approves marijuana for medical use. Meanwhile, Andy entertains himself playing with the castle. Jill meanwhile, is ready to leave for her doctor's appointment. Andy tells her he's ready to do it.

If it's Doug's, they'll deal with it. He tells her he's been thinking about fatherhood all wrong, thinking he'd have to be like his father, but he doesn't. He wants to build castles with Lee Marvin Botwin or Linda Carter Botwin if it's a girl. She seems charmed, but only tells him to get a job. Meanwhile, Terry gives Nancy and Silas a tour. He wants to see what they can do to justify two new hires. She also gets a company car. He then lets them into their lab, which has white cots and potted plants everywhere. Silas is visibly overjoyed on seeing this. The episode ends at this point.

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