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Banacek: Ten Thousand Dollars a Page
Walter Tyson is a bully and a manipulator. To his own surprise, he fell in love with a woman he married for her money. And then, she died trying to give him a daughter, who also perished young. The only thing Walter has left of her is The Book of Hours, a priceless tome he grudgingly agrees to display at a museum. There is a locked case, and opening it causes impervious doors to close. And a camera permits guards to watch the book constantly from a security station. And then, the book disappears. Banacek figures part of the method immediately. But to deduce who committed this crime, he'll need to consider motives.
Elliot Thorpe: But you know how I feel. You are an overweighted, overpaid showboat. Just seeing you here and I start hyperventilating.
Banacek: Don't hold back, level with me. Do you want me on this case or not?
Walter Tyson: Among those who contend to know me, Mr. Banacek, I am considered stubborn, irascible, senile, ruthless. But I am nothing so complex. Yes, that's fine. What I am is what I precisely started out to be. Something I've labored toward all my life. Tyrant. And now I'm at the point where I'm starting to enjoy it. And one of the most enjoyable things is that I can have my own way about anything.
Banacek: I know the feeling.
Jill Hammond: Why is it so important that you know?
Banacek: Well, you're a lovely woman. Now, what man wants a lovely woman to hate him?
Jill Hammond: Good day.
Banacek: Not so far.
Banacek: I know this might sound like anti-intellectualism, but could we skip the last 400 years and get to the last owner, Walter Tyson.
Jay: Listen, if you think that's funny, just--just listen to this. Did you hear the one about the Polish Olympic star who won a gold medal? He was so proud, he had it bronzed.
Jay: Well, it just sounds funny when you say the guy was a Polish Olympic star.
Banacek: That's strange. I get most of my laughs telling Sicilian jokes.
Jay: What Sicilian jokes?
Banacek: There is an old Polish proverb that says "Just because a dress is red satin doesn't mean it comes off easily."
Walter Tyson: I'm here today against the better judgment of my doctors. However, I'm also alive today against the better judgment of my doctors.