Pappyism: If the Lord had more respect for money, he woulda given it to a better class of people.
Barney Broomick: We would've had her if you hadn't sneezed in the corridor of the Phoenix Hotel.
Kenneth Broomick: It was all them stupid flowers everywhere.
Barney Broomick: That was wallpaper.
Tom: "Don't worry about it, Tom." "Leave it to me, Tom." "I've already taken care of it, Tom." "Trust me, Tom!"
Bret: This is no time for that, Tom.
Bret: Hallie McCulloch! The dirty-rotten, thievin', no-good miserable, lowdown little butcher bird.
Tom: A friend a yours?
Bret: That she-weasel is no friend a mine. And don't you worry, Tom. We're gonna get our money back - with interest.
Tom: Oh, I know you will. Because if you don't, this old country boy's gonna pound you into a post hole. Trust me.
Hallie McCullough: You unspeakable roach! What the hell is all this?
Bret: This, Hallie? What "this"?
Hallie McCullough: Your really vicious, rotten, low-class behavior in the tea room and your really incredible crust! I have known some pretty stinking people in my life…
Bret: I thought you had.
Hallie McCullough: Let me tell you once more, Bret Maverick, I am a lady, damn it! And when I am having a quiet cup of tea with a gentleman friend and you come crashing in like a cow…
Bret: Hallie, you're about as much a lady as Big Nose Kate and you weren't having a saucer of tea, you were gonna use my money to set up a tired, old con could be seen through by a blind man's dog.
Hallie McCullough: Bret, honey…
Bret: Oh, yes, darlin'.
Hallie McCullough: What do you say, double or nothin'?
Bret: Sweetheart, you ain't got double.
Hallie McCullough: You look strange, Bret. Like you been eatin' well. Sleepin' good too.
Bret: Yeah, well, I've been spendin' a lotta my time these days just takin' it easy. I got a little ranch about 80 miles from here. I'm raisin' bulls now.
Hallie McCullough: Honey, you don't know bulls from meadow muffins. And if you're thinkin' 'bout gettin' rich off of 'em, forget it.
Bret: Rich isn't everything.
Hallie McCullough: It beats the hell out of whatever's in second place.
Bret: Well, as my old Pappy used to say, if the Lord had more respect for money, he would've given it to a better class of people."
Hallie McCullough: And my own mama use to say, "Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can rent it."
Barney Broomick: You shouldn't a done that ticket seller in Tucson that a way.
Kenneth Broomick: He told us he bought a ticket to Sweetwater, didn't he? And that ain't nothin' compared to what I'm gonna do to her.
Barney Broomick: Money before vengeance, Kenneth. Money before vengeance. Numbers 32, verse… ah, forget the verse.
Kenneth Broomick: If she's still hidin' behind that Maverick, well, just don't expect no mercy from me.
Barney Broomick: Yeah, I know, I know. Mercy is not what you do best.
Hallie McCullough: You really takin' me out to your ranch?
Bret: You bet. It's the only way I'm gonna get rid a you once and for all.
Hallie McCullough: I fail to see how the one accomplishes the other.
Bret: Oh, well, you haven't met Cy Whittaker yet. You want to be Mrs. Bret Maverick? Shssh, you won't last a day.
Bret: Now, what are you doin' here?
Hallie McCullough: Well, to be quite honest about it…
Bret: Oh, McCulloch, you've never been honest with me.
Hallie McCullough: And I've always felt terrible about it later. That's really why I came. I couldn't get over how nice you were in Tucson. Stingy, yes, but sweet. I kept askin' myself, "Why can't I be nice?"
Bret: I give up. why?
Hallie McCullough: All that stuff you were talkin' about in Tucson, about slowing down, and rocking chairs on the front porch... Well, I guess it just got to me, Bret. And you made Sweetwater sound like such a dear little town.
Bret: And it is a dear little town, but it's my dear little town. I saw it first. Nice try, Hallie, but no cigar.
Hallie McCullough: Bret... please?
Bret: Turn the water off, Hallie. Your tears haven't bothered me since Atlanta.
Hallie McCullough: How's this, Cy?
Cy: Well, you about got the hang of it, Halle.
Bret: Cy, Hallie… wonderful.
Cy: (cooking) Don't forget to dig out the eyes.
Bret: That's what she does best!
Cy: Oh, stop your grousin'.
Hallie McCullough: That's what he does best.
Hallie McCullough: It was life or death, and you know I'd never do it again, Bret… never, ever.
Bret: It must take a lot of practice not to choke on a statement like that.
Cy: I gave her a horse.
Bret: You what?
Cy: Well, it's the least I could do. Said she had to get to Phoenix in her hurry. Said her mother was dying.
Bret: Her mother does that from time to time.