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Bret Maverick: The Eight Swords of Dyrus and Other Illusions of Grandeur

Maverick is out to expose a crooked magician who's working at the Red Ox, but has to do it from a jail cell when he's framed for murder.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x13
Production Number: 167513
Airdate: Tuesday March 23rd, 1982

Guest Stars
Cliff PottsCliff Potts
As The Great Malooley
Sarah RushSarah Rush
As Princess Athena / Ida Rose Mugford
Sid HaigSid Haig
As Samson

Co-Guest Stars
Tommy Bush (1)Tommy Bush (1)
As Deputy Sturgess
Jack GarnerJack Garner
As Jack the Bartender
Luis DelgadoLuis Delgado
As Shifty Delgrado
W.T. ZachaW.T. Zacha
As Cutler (Rupert Cutler)
Peter MunroPeter Munro
As Cowboy
Main Cast
James GarnerJames Garner
As Bret Maverick
Ed BruceEd Bruce
As Tom Guthrie
Ramon BieriRamon Bieri
As Elijah Crow
John ShearinJohn Shearin
As Sheriff Mitchel Dowd
David KnellDavid Knell
As Rodney Catlow
Darleen CarrDarleen Carr
As Mary Lou "M.L." Springer


The Great Malooley and his assistants Princess Athena and Samson arrive in Sweetwater. Jack the Bartender greets them at the Red Ox and invites them inside. As Athena and Samson go in with their boss, Athena favors Rodney with a smile...

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Episode Quotes
Ida Rose: Oh, I never thought we'd get here. I'd sell my soul for a bath.
The Great Malooley: How can you sell what I already own?
Ida Rose: Twenty-five a month buys you a lot, Great, but not that much. Tonight, a real bed.
The Great Malooley: Don't count on it until the deal is set. Keep your mouth shut and your parts moving.

Rupert Cutler: You callin' or tuckin' tail?
Bret: I'll see the $2.00. (takes the hand) Would you gentlemen excuse me, please?
Rupert Cutler: Hey, ain't you gonna give me a chance to get my money back?
Bret: I try to never to work for anything less than five dollars an hour

Jack: What'd I tell you, Tom? You can't lose!
Bret: Which is the best reason to double-think it.
The Great Malooley: And who is this?
Tom: My partner, Bret Maverick.
The Great Malooley: Ah, yes, well, Bret Maverick. This is indeed an honor.
Bret: Well, you got good hands and a fast mouth, kid. That usually means there's a catch somewhere.

Bret: Next time.
Rupert Cutler: Not on your best day, pants rabbit.

Dowd: You take the north end, Sturge.
Deputy Sturgess: How come I always get the end with the alleys, the graveyard, and the swamp? It spooks me, you know? Why can't I take the south end once in awhile?
Dowd: Because that's where the brewery is, Sturgess. And I don't want to have to roll you home in a barrel.

The Great Malooley: Remember the Great Malooley's 15th Commandment : Thou shall not fool around with locals.

Tom: Maverick has a plan.
Dowd: He always does. Please… can't you see I'm dying of lead poisoning?
Tom: Every man feels that way the first time he's shot

Deputy Sturgess: But now… Mitch is dead, and I killed him. The only man who was ever good to me, the only one who ever treated me like a real person. Loaned me money, was teachin’ me how to read and play chess, tried to keep me from gettin’ drunk. Because he cared. For no other reason! I don’t know much about love or how it’s supposed to feel... but I guess the way I felt about Mitch is as close as I’ll ever come.

Rodney: What's your real name?
Ida Rose: Ohh. Ida Rose Mugford.
Rodney: Yeah, I-I think I like Princess Athena better.
Ida Rose: So do I.

(at the magic show)
Cowboy: Ah, this ain't nothin'. Down at Reno's in Tucson, they got a one-armed Turkish fella who juggles whiskey bottles while he whistles Camptown Races with his mouth full of bullets. Now that's entertainment.

Bret: Where'd you come by this?
The Great Malooley: I bought it from the man who killed Old Bob's son. He tried to decipher the code for ten years and finally gave up. it cost me $5,000.
Bret: Just like that, you shelled out $5,000 for a few words written on an old piece of paper? Where you been all my life?
The Great Malooley: It had a legend.
Bret: Well it'd have to.

Bret: You know, I always wondered what happened to them. Oh, every now and then, I'd hear about the legend of the Kurzfeld Diamonds. It was always good for a laugh. Until now. Damn if they didn't come back and almost get me killed.
Mary Lou: You know what I'd call that?
Bret: Ah, please, please, Mary Lou. I'm in no mood for the "poetic justice" line.
Jack the Bartender: Oh, no, no, Maverick. It's more than that. It's magic! Well, it's almost magic.

Other Episode Crew

Executive ProducerMeta Rosenberg
Supervising ProducerGordon Dawson
ProducerChas Floyd Johnson
Associate ProducerMark Horowitz
EditorGeorge R. Rohrs  |  Paul H. Dixon
CastingDodie McLean
Unit Production ManagerSam C. Freedle
First Assistant DirectorLeonard R. Garner, Jr.
Second Assistant DirectorDon Wilkerson
MusicMurray MacLeod  |  J.A.C. Redford
Music EditorJay Alfred Smith
HairstylistCharlotte Harvey
Make-upCharlene Roberson
Set DecoratorRobert L. Zilliox
Property MasterWilliam Fannon
Director of PhotographyFrank Thackery
Art DirectorScott T. Ritenour
Sound MixerCharlie King (3)
Special EffectsLarry L. Fuentes
Costume SupervisorLe Dawson
Main Title ThemeGlenn Ray  |  Patsy Bruce  |  Ed Bruce
Main Title GraphicsRon Grover
Executive Story ConsultantLee David Zlotoff
Sound Effects EditorJerry Jacobson
Technical AdvisorDavid Avadon
Assistant To The StarMaryann Rea
Main Title Theme Performed ByEd Bruce
Developed ByGordon Dawson
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