Cy: Well, I must be seein' things.
Bret: Good mornin', Cy. How about a fresh cuppa coffee just to take the edge off the morning chores?
Cy: Well, you haven't been awake this close to sunup since your last all-night poker game. You feelin' alright?
Bret: Crisp as a new bill.
Tom: Just what are you up to, Maverick?
Bret: Why do I have to be up to anything?
Tom: 'Cause you never offered any help before, not even when I asked for it.
Bret: Can't a man offer his services to a friend without being suspected a somethin'?
Tom: Some can, but you can't. What's the catch?
Bret: Now, Tom, that hurts. That really hurts.
Bret: I told ya I'd get (Tom) to agree.Well now, don't look at me like that.
Cy: You coulda told him the truth.
Bret: I did. I am not running a game.
Cy: You're the only person I know… who can feed a man moldy biscuits and have him think it's hard candy.
Elijah: Have you ever thought of becoming sheriff yourself? Naming your own deputies? Taking the reins of command? Knowing that everyone in town was looking to you for strength and protection?
Deputy Sturgess: Well, you know, I had a dream like that once.
Deputy Sturgess: Ha ha - scared the devil outta me. Everybody waitin' on me to tell 'em what to do. I woke up in a cold sweat. Didn't sleep for two nights after that. Why?
Elijah: No reason. Just find me a spare badge, would you, Sturge?
Bret: All right, Tom, where's the thorn under that rosy smile? And what're you doin' with that thing on your vest?
Tom: Just a little vacation from saloon-keepin'. That is what you wanted.
Bret: Well, what happened to fishing?
Tom: May do some of that too.
Bret: You know, Tom, it's just like you to waste a perfectly good vacation doin' someone else's job.
Bret: Emmett! Emmett! Hey, glad to see you, good you could come, Emmett. Yeah, sit down, have a drink. Uh, things are gonna get started any minute.
Emmett Snow: I don't need a drink, Maverick, I just need a square deal. And I've come too far to tolerate another one of your deceptions!
Bret: Now, how was I supposed to know that Lola would fall in love with St. Louis, huh?
Emmett Snow: She also took a strong liking to my wallet.
Bret: Why you no-good, lowlife… you put a star on that vest a yours, you turn into a whole new set of books, don't ya, huh? You relocated the bull.
Tom: Got your attention, didn't it?
Bret: Yeah, you got my attention. I'll tell you what ya got, ya got a charge of false arrest, unlawful imprisonment, bull-napping… you know what they can do to you for that?
Tom: Couldn't be any worse than what I'm facin' right now
Bret: For somebody who wants my help, you spend an awful lotta time lookin' down your nose at it.
Tom: I suppose so. There's just something about your methods, Maverick, that makes my clothes itch.
Bret: You wanna go out in the middle of the street and end it in a blaze of gunfire?
Tom: No, not this time.
Bret: Then it won't hurt ya not to bark at me so loud.
Tom: Yeah, but it sure would feel funny comin' out different.
Colonel Bang: You raise that gun to me, boy … you best be ready to use it.
John Henry: I will if I have to.
Colonel Bang: The only thing you have to do is to nail down that tongue of yours and take orders! Now you do somethin' stupid now, boy, you're gonna go down full a more holes than a bird full a buckshot.
Tom: You know, Maverick, sometimes I think it'd be as easy for you to rob a bank as you do those poker chips.
Bret: Aw, no, no, no. They chase bank robbers further, who needs that pressure? No, but there was just a moment there yesterday - when we were lookin' at all that gold - ah, you understand.
Tom: No, not really.
Bret: Tom. you've got a warped sense of values, you know that? I mean, it's just downright unnatural you can stand there and look at all that gold and not have just a little twinge of desire.
Tom: It depends on who's doin' the lookin'.
Bret: We do the work, they take the credit.
Tom: What else is new?
Bret: Well, the least they could do is offer us a reward or somethin'.
Tom: Oh, but the warm feelin' in your heart should be reward enough.
Bret: I don't have a warm feeling in my heart, Tom. I'd rather have a reward or a commission.
Tom: Now, he said thank you.