Klaus Mollert is at home playing video games while his babysitter and her boyfriend make out on the couch. After drinking an energy drink, Klaus takes out a gun and shoots at the game screen. The babysitter hears the shot but her boyfriend dismisses it. As they go back to kissing, Klaus enters the room and shoots them dead, and then kills the parakeet...Read the full recap
Gunter: If children are our future, this kid is the Apocalypse.
Mrs. Mollert: I have no idea where he got that gun.
Gunter: When I was his age, the only weapon I could get my hands on was a meat cleaver. I would have killed for a gun.
Gunter: Think how many entertaining movies there are thanks to Hitler. Without him, would Sophie have a choice? Would Schindler have a list? Would Jurassic have a park?
Johann Tannhauser: I will crush him. I will best him with my knowledge, honed by this board, honed from your mind, sucked into my mind, and then blown out in a very usable way. Racken may be the master of Parcheesi, but I will be a master of chess.
Braden: We got a urine sample from the boy.
Gunter: How did you get that?
Karl: When he peed on my leg.
Gunter: Hmm, somebody get me adoption papers.
Gunter: I have a way with kids, Hagerman. I've used several as hostages.
Karl: Drop the gun, Fassbinder, or I will shoot you and not only will you drop the gun, you will drop with it because you will both be dead. I mean the gun won't be dead but you will both drop. I mean...
Gunter: Shut up, Hagerman!
Karl: He's having a heart attack. I'll give him the Breath of Life.
Gunter: That's for drowning victims, Hagerman. Are you using your tongue?
Braden: Figures you're an expert on drugs. Long-time junkie, are you?
Gunter: No. Casual user. I'd shoot heroin then lay in a hammock screaming about how sunshine tickled.
Braden: Shut up, Hagerman.
Karl: I didn't say anything.
Gunter: I'm running late for a tryst. When a man is late, he's cool. When a woman is late, she's pregnant. Remember: always wear watches and condoms.
Gunter: Without him, would Sophie have a choice?
Gunter: Would Schindler have a list?
Gunter: Would Jurassic have a park?