Dave's newest column about Shel's childhood has been picked up by Paragon Pictures to be made into a movie, and Beth asks Dave to ask Shel to help write the screenplay. But Dave has never been able to work with others, and Beth reminds him of a recent speech to the boys about sharing between brothers...which she believes Shel and Dave compare to. Meanwhile, Eric needs to learn how to swim so he and Mia can honeymoon in Hawaii, and with Kenny's help he may just do so. Although Mia becomes jealous when she finds out there are women at the pool in which are ogling Eric and likewise.
With Beth and the boys off on a school field trip for the weekend, Dave is set to do all the things he enjoys: drinking, sleeping, eating and not bathing. But when wind of his weekend blows around, his friends decide not to leave him alone for a minute. Meanwhile, Beth finds out that Tommy has discovered girls, and is stuck on one named Angela.
Dave's latest rant is "What ever happened to nice people?" after experiencing road rage and Shel has several run in with an obnoxious waiter.
Tommy is grounded by Dave after being accused of committing a prank in school, which he insists he is innocent of. But when Dave himself gets accused of a crime after a brawl during Eric's bachelor party, by a judge who hates celebrities, he starts to think he judged Tommy on circumstantial evidence. Meanwhile, Eric asks the guys to tell Mia he was forced to come with them to the nightclub.
Dave, Kenny and Shel receive a sentence from the judge concerning Eric's bachelor party blowup in which they must work on a beach. While there a Cuban refugee washes up onshore and the guys must figure out what to do with him now. Juan comes home with Dave who teaches him what it means to be an American...Barry style. But instead of loafing, Juan would like to work and be a model citizen, making Dave think about his family's arrival from Ireland. Eric is not to enthused about employing Juan since Mia likes his looks.