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Dharma & Greg: A Closet Full of Hell

It's Halloween and Dharma and Greg are throwing a party. Before the party they find a hidden closet filled with freaky looking dolls. Dharma senses they are evil and takes them all down to prepare to get ride of them, when she returns the next day all of the dolls have been placed back in their original spot, and also with two new dolls that look like Dharma and Greg. Abby and Dharma decide to do an exorcism. They feel better until they hear footsteps coming from the closet, when they go in they see a doll hanging from the celling, frightened Dharma screams when they see an elderly women pop out from a trap door. They meet with the women and much to Dharma and Greg relief the women has been the one moving the dolls around and she has made these dolls as a hobby. She invites them over for tea later that night. When they go over to the house a man answers the door and says that the old women they had talked to died fifteen years ago. Dharma and Greg are shocked and run away. Jane and the old women appear in the door and reveal that it was just a Halloween prank.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 2x6
Production Number: 2ABD05
Airdate: Wednesday October 28th, 1998

Guest Stars
Bodhi ElfmanBodhi Elfman
As Ted
Angela PatonAngela Paton
As Mrs. Shumacher
Episode Quotes
Ted: So, this is a Halloween tradition for you guys.
Jane: Yep. I scare the crap out of her; she turns around and does it to me.
Mrs. Shumacher: How long has this been going on?
Jane: This is the first year

Kitty: Why did I get out of bed? Why?
Larry: What does that mean?
Edward: It means she's going to start drinking early today.

Dharma: (After meeting Mrs. Shumacher in the attic/storage room) Told you!
Greg: Is that how you want to play this?
Dharma: Yes, please.

Kitty: Oh, Larry, that is wonderful. Thank you!
Larry: My pleasure.
Kitty: (Rocking the table) It's not level.
Larry: Oh, I can adjust that. (Puts a matchbook under the uneven table leg.) There you go. Solid as the white man's hold on the Senate.
Kitty: You're not going to leave that matchbook under there, are you?
Larry: You bet.
Edward: She means "Don't leave that matchbook under there".
Kitty: Edward, I can speak for myself. (To Larry) Don't you want to sand the legs so that they're level?
Larry: Nah, not really.
Edward: She means "Do it".
Larry: Ok.
Kitty: (Dripping with sweetness) Thank you.
Larry: What does that mean?
Edward: I don't know, but it rarely means "Thank you".

Pete: You smell something burning?
Greg: That's sage. White sage.
Pete: And why is white sage burning?
Greg: Because Dharma and her mother and Jane are having kind of an exorcism.
Pete: (Nodding) Ah.
Dharma: (Rushing into the room) Honey, have you seen the big, plastic trash can and the molasses?
Greg: Uh, kitchen.
Dharma: Thanks.
Pete: Trash can?
Greg: Spirit catcher. It's got a good, tight lid.
Pete: So, what? You catch more evil spirits with molasses than with vinegar?

Greg: Look at that! Look at him run!
Pete: Maybe a doll scared him.

Pete: So you're saying you weren't scared?
Greg: Scared of what? Dolls?
Pete: Jane said you screamed.
Greg: I did not scream.
Pete: She said you screamed like a woman.
Greg: It's because I was in pain. I fell.
Pete: She said you fell pushing Abby out of the way.

Greg: Dharma, I did not unpack the dolls.
Dharma: Oh, God.
Greg: This is a real head scratcher.
Dharma: Yeah, you scratch. I'm moving!
Greg: What? Where are you going? We're having a housewarming.
Dharma: Yeah, it's warm enough. What are you waiting for, a pitchfork in the ass?

Kitty: Now tell me; if I wanted to purchase a set like this, how would do it without actually venturing into the east bay?
Larry: I don't know. I don't sell them anywhere else.
Edward: What she means is: Finkelstein, can she buy one from you now?
Larry: Oh, sure. (Directly to Edward) Tell her yes.
Edward: (To Kitty) He says yes.

Kitty: What a lovely gift, Larry. Did you make this yourself?
Larry: Yep.
Kitty: You're right, Edward. He is part savant.
Larry: Hand-crafted with hand-crafted handcrafting tools that I hand-crafted.
Kitty: Then there's the other part

Jane: Heard you got some evil demons.
Greg: Aw, don't tell me you believe that stuff, too.
Jane: No, but you gotta admit it's pretty spooky what happened to the people who lived here before you.
Greg: What happened?
Jane: They were kind of quiet, kept to themselves, never talked to anyone in the building. One day they moved, no one heard from them again. Spooky, huh?
Greg: (Muttering to himself) Everything's spooky when you say it.

Jane: Happy Housewarming.
Greg: Thanks!'s open.
Jane: Yeah. It's good, too.

(Greg tips the doll over, causing it to say "Ma ma".)
Dharma: Oh, my God. That doll just said "Dharma".
Greg: No, it said "Mama". See? (Tips doll over again; doll says "Ma ma" again)
Dharma: I am not your mama. Go back to Hell!

Greg: Dharma, you're not really scared of these things, now are you?
Dharma: No, I'm wet myself scared of them, Greg.

Greg: I was thinking about giving the dolls to a charity.
Dharma: What, like the Salvation Army of Darkness?

Dharma: What are you doing in there?
Greg: Come here. See? I cleaned it all out; this is going to be a great storage space.
Dharma: Yeah, for our blood-drained bodies.
Greg: Yeah. Or skis.

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