Ted: So, this is a Halloween tradition for you guys.
Jane: Yep. I scare the crap out of her; she turns around and does it to me.
Mrs. Shumacher: How long has this been going on?
Jane: This is the first year
Kitty: Why did I get out of bed? Why?
Larry: What does that mean?
Edward: It means she's going to start drinking early today.
Dharma: (After meeting Mrs. Shumacher in the attic/storage room) Told you!
Greg: Is that how you want to play this?
Dharma: Yes, please.
Kitty: Oh, Larry, that is wonderful. Thank you!
Larry: My pleasure.
Kitty: (Rocking the table) It's not level.
Larry: Oh, I can adjust that. (Puts a matchbook under the uneven table leg.) There you go. Solid as the white man's hold on the Senate.
Kitty: You're not going to leave that matchbook under there, are you?
Larry: You bet.
Edward: She means "Don't leave that matchbook under there".
Kitty: Edward, I can speak for myself. (To Larry) Don't you want to sand the legs so that they're level?
Larry: Nah, not really.
Edward: She means "Do it".
Kitty: (Dripping with sweetness) Thank you.
Larry: What does that mean?
Edward: I don't know, but it rarely means "Thank you".
Pete: You smell something burning?
Greg: That's sage. White sage.
Pete: And why is white sage burning?
Greg: Because Dharma and her mother and Jane are having kind of an exorcism.
Pete: (Nodding) Ah.
Dharma: (Rushing into the room) Honey, have you seen the big, plastic trash can and the molasses?
Greg: Uh, kitchen.
Pete: Trash can?
Greg: Spirit catcher. It's got a good, tight lid.
Pete: So, what? You catch more evil spirits with molasses than with vinegar?
Greg: Look at that! Look at him run!
Pete: Maybe a doll scared him.
Pete: So you're saying you weren't scared?
Greg: Scared of what? Dolls?
Pete: Jane said you screamed.
Greg: I did not scream.
Pete: She said you screamed like a woman.
Greg: It's because I was in pain. I fell.
Pete: She said you fell pushing Abby out of the way.
Greg: Dharma, I did not unpack the dolls.
Dharma: Oh, God.
Greg: This is a real head scratcher.
Dharma: Yeah, you scratch. I'm moving!
Greg: What? Where are you going? We're having a housewarming.
Dharma: Yeah, it's warm enough. What are you waiting for, a pitchfork in the ass?
Kitty: Now tell me; if I wanted to purchase a set like this, how would do it without actually venturing into the east bay?
Larry: I don't know. I don't sell them anywhere else.
Edward: What she means is: Finkelstein, can she buy one from you now?
Larry: Oh, sure. (Directly to Edward) Tell her yes.
Edward: (To Kitty) He says yes.
Kitty: What a lovely gift, Larry. Did you make this yourself?
Kitty: You're right, Edward. He is part savant.
Larry: Hand-crafted with hand-crafted handcrafting tools that I hand-crafted.
Kitty: Then there's the other part
Jane: Heard you got some evil demons.
Greg: Aw, don't tell me you believe that stuff, too.
Jane: No, but you gotta admit it's pretty spooky what happened to the people who lived here before you.
Greg: What happened?
Jane: They were kind of quiet, kept to themselves, never talked to anyone in the building. One day they moved, no one heard from them again. Spooky, huh?
Greg: (Muttering to himself) Everything's spooky when you say it.
Jane: Happy Housewarming.
Greg: Thanks! It...it's open.
Jane: Yeah. It's good, too.
(Greg tips the doll over, causing it to say "Ma ma".)
Dharma: Oh, my God. That doll just said "Dharma".
Greg: No, it said "Mama". See? (Tips doll over again; doll says "Ma ma" again)
Dharma: I am not your mama. Go back to Hell!
Greg: Dharma, you're not really scared of these things, now are you?
Dharma: No, I'm wet myself scared of them, Greg.
Greg: I was thinking about giving the dolls to a charity.
Dharma: What, like the Salvation Army of Darkness?
Dharma: What are you doing in there?
Greg: Come here. See? I cleaned it all out; this is going to be a great storage space.
Dharma: Yeah, for our blood-drained bodies.
Greg: Yeah. Or skis.