  nishikaze
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Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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From Comcast News:
Man Allegedly Trying Break-In Calls Cops
By Associated Press
3 hours ago
STEVENS POINT, Wis. - If only all criminals were this helpful. A 24-year-old man called police to tell them he was trying to break into a church, but he wasn't having much luck.
Police said the found the man waiting at St. Paul's Lutheran Church. The man told them he had hoped to get married in the church and was trying to use a metal shovel to break through the doors. He told them he figured they could help.
Officers search the man and found marijuana. He then invited them to his home, where he told them they would find more drugs.
They did: He showed them his stash of marijuana and stolen prescription drugs.
The man was arrested on charges of criminal damage to property, possession of drugs and paraphernalia, police said.
Town officals were astounded.
"There aren't many arrests like that," Police Chief Jeff Morris said.
See a weird or funny news article? Post it here.  |
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| Message Posted On Tuesday, March 6th 2007 At 10:45 pm |
  MoggIntellect
Level 24 (98%)
Posts: 5940
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Man, that has nothing to do with drugs. I know a lot of people who have done a lot of drugs and they aren't that stupid.  |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 1:16 am |
Cokebeard
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Cokebeard is cooler than Jebus |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 2:38 am |
MoggIntellect
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| On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 2:38 am, Cokebeard wrote: | | i've done a lot of drugs and i'm not that stupid. |
But you and I both know that some fools are out there right now saying, 'see, that's what happens when you become a pothead!'  Maybe they are dumber than the dude in the story. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 3:54 am |
nishikaze
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Level 24 (22%)
Posts: 6768
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Since: 29/Jan/06
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 6:12 am |
nishikaze
(Editor)
Level 24 (22%)
Posts: 6768
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Mood: None
Since: 29/Jan/06
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 7:06 am |
Me
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If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? |
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Meat-loving calf eats chickens
KOLKATA, India - When dozens of chickens went missing from a remote West Bengal village, everyone blamed the neighborhood dogs.
But Ajit Ghosh, the owner of the missing chickens, eventually solved the puzzle when he caught his cow -- a sacred animal for the Hindu family -- gobbling up several of them at night.
"We were shocked to see our calf eating chickens alive," Ghosh told Reuters by phone from Chandpur village.
The family decided to stand guard at night on Monday at the cow shed which also served as a hen coop, after 48 chickens went missing in a month.
"Instead of the dogs, we watched in horror as the calf, whom we had fondly named Lal, sneak to the coop and grab the little ones with the precision of a jungle cat," Gour Ghosh, his brother, said.
Local television pictures showed the cow grabbing and eating a chicken in seconds and a vet confirmed the case.
"We think lack of vital minerals in the body is causing this behavior. We have taken a look and have asked doctors to look into the case immediately," Mihir Satpathy, a district veterinary officer, said by phone.
"This strange behavior is possible in some exceptional cases," Satpathy said.
Hundreds of villagers flocked to Chandpur on Wednesday to catch a glimpse of Lal, enjoying his bundle of green grass for a change.
"The local vets said the cow was probably suffering from a disease but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth," Ajit added. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 7:47 am |
nishikaze
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Level 24 (22%)
Posts: 6768
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Mood: None
Since: 29/Jan/06
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 8:06 am |
Me
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If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman? |
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I loved the ending to the story: "but others said Lal was a tiger in his previous birth."
Good thing it wasn't an anaconda in its previous life.  |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 8:12 am |
tikidawg
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. |
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Teens Try to Dispose of Stabbing Victim's Body ... Twice
| Quote: | In the affidavit, Guy says when they arrived at the Erie landfill, they got the car stuck in the mud because it had recently snowed and then decided not to dump the body and returned to the house in Lafayette.
Guy told police roughly one week after the murder he helped the suspects bury Damm’s body in a nearby cemetery. Fearing they had been seen by local law enforcement they fled the scene. However, the group returned hours later, dug the body up and returned it to the home.
Guy told police he thought they began digging the hole at about 11 p.m. and finished burying the body at about 1:30 a.m. when they were spooked by what they thought was an officer. Guy says they recovered the body before sunrise. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 8:40 am |
 General_Sherman
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| WTF Wrote: | Teens Accused of Making Ostrich Impotent
Three teenagers may be on the hook for a hefty fine if a court decides that their festive firecrackers outside an eastern German farm scared the libido right out of an ostrich named Gustav.
Rico Gabel, a farmer in Lohsa, northeast of Dresden, is claiming $6,450 in damages for the alleged antics of the three youths, ages 17-18, between Dec. 27 and 29, 2005.
According to his lawsuit, the farmer claims that fireworks set off by the boys made the previously lustful Gustav both apathetic and depressed, and thus unable to perform for a half-a-year with his two female breeding partners.
Before Gustav regained his sex drive in the second half of the year, the farmer estimates he lost out on 14 ostrich offspring _ worth $460 apiece.
The suit is due to be heard next Monday in a regional court in nearby Bautzen, the court said Monday. The teenagers' names were not released.
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 9:52 am |
nishikaze
(Editor)
Level 24 (22%)
Posts: 6768
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Mood: None
Since: 29/Jan/06
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 10:00 am |
nishikaze
(Editor)
Level 24 (22%)
Posts: 6768
Contrib Points: 1155.7
Mood: None
Since: 29/Jan/06
Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. |
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Taken from Comcast
| Quote: | Skinny Inmate Escapes Through Food Slot
By Associated Press
Tue Mar 6, 11:27 PM
GARY, Ind. - The small windows on Gary City Jail cell doors are just the right size for a tray of food to slide in or a skinny inmate to squeeze out, police learned on Saturday.
A correctional officer found Artez Kenyetta Knox, 28, walking in a jail hallway after police said the 130-pound man took off his clothes, shoved them through the food slot and then wiggled through himself.
He had dressed and was trying to find an unlocked door when the officer found him.
Knox was charged with robbery and attempted escape Monday in Lake Superior Court in Crown Point. He faces up to 28 years in prison if convicted, said Diane Poulton, a spokeswoman for Lake County prosecutor's office.
Police had arrested and jailed Knox on Saturday after a robbery victim said the man had confronted him in a park. Ronald Glass was robbed Friday after he cashed his pay check at a currency exchange. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 10:44 am |
manson_rules
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BOTM3 Champ *cheesy grin* |
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MAN JAILED OVER PORN SCREAMS - Source: News.AOL.com
OCONOMOWOC, Wis. (Feb. 21) - A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.
"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."
According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.
"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"
The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.
The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.
Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.
Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.
"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.
Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.
"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.
Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.
Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 11:05 am |
General_Sherman
Level 39 (19%)
Posts: 11192
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This one is fairly old but funny.
| Parrot news Wrote: | Parrot squawks on cheating lover's affair
A devastated Englishman learned the horrible truth that his girlfriend was cheating on him - straight from his pet parrot's mouth.
Chris Taylor's parrot Ziggy began squawking "Hiya, Gary" every time his girlfriend Suzy Collins's mobile phone rang.
The African Grey also made kiss noises each time it heard the name Gary on television or radio.
At first amused owner Mr Taylor, a computer programmer, dismissed it as something the bird had picked up watching TV.
But then he snuggled up beside Suzy on the sofa in their flat in Leeds and Ziggy cried out in Suzy's voice "I love you, Gary." The cat was finally out of the bag.
Call-center worker Ms Collins, 25, broke down in tears and confessed to having a four-month fling with a former colleague. She had met her lover in the flat while Ziggy looked on.
Her confession ended their two-year relationship. It also led to 30-year-old Mr Taylor parting company with his pet - because it kept screeching out her lover's name.
Mr Taylor wasn't sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, he said. But it really broke his heart to part with eight-year-old Ziggy which he had bought as a chick.
"I lost my girlfriend and best mate at the same time. But it was torture hearing him repeat that name Gary over and over," he said.
Mr Taylor named the parrot after Ziggy Stardust, David Bowie's alter ego. It learned to reproduce the line "Put on your red shoes and dance the blue!" from the Bowie song Let's Dance.
Ziggy has since found a new home with the help of a local parrot dealer. |
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| Message Posted On Wednesday, March 7th 2007 At 11:35 am |
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