Neal: I'm Jewish. That's no cakewalk either. Last year I was elected school treasurer. I didn't even run!
Daniel: I love being told not to drink by a pot-head hippie guidance counselor.
Lindsay: All my new friends think I'm a goody-two-shoes and all my old friends think I'm throwing my life away. What am I supposed to do?
Harold: Elvis didn't expectorate on his fans.
Sam: No. But he died on the toilet.
Harold: Well, that's paradise compared to where the Sex Pistols are gonna end up.
Sam: Keg of beer, please.
Liquor Store Clerk: Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Neal [to Lindsay] : Friday night. Always a good time for some Sabbath. [pause] 'Cause, you know...Friday...is the Sabbath...for the Jews.