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Detective Sergeant Ed Brown happens to be nearby when he hears an officer needs assistance call. The arrest is of Frank Vincent, a thoroughly unpleasant drunk who starts fights and hates cops. He swears he'll “get even." The next day someone guns down Briggs, one of the officers who arrested Vincent. Did Vincent commit this murder? Ironside isn't sure. Then Connell's car explodes; Connell was the other man who arrested Vincent. Now Ironside is sure – but the only way to prove it might be to put Ed out where Vincent can take the expected shot at him...
Frank Vincent: Why don't you lay off of me, you lousy cops?
Ed: Try laying off the sauce, Vincent – we'll lay off of you.
Ironside: I sent you out on a fact-finding mission so that I can make an intelligent report to the Commissioner on area crime incidents and you come back with the clothes torn off your back.
Ed: (as Eve mends his jacket) Thank you, my lady.
Eve: Don't mention it. It's these little domestic touches that make a den mother feel very secure.
Ed: Now look, Chief, I'm sure of the facts you wanted, what I don't understand is what happened to my coat. I mean how do you figure a man like Vincent?
Mark: Cop hater. It's a religion, man.
Ironside: If all of you don't mind, I'd like to get back to business. The department has a Community Relations office to worry about cop haters.
Ed: I hope they're worrying.
Ed: All right, maybe I'm wrong. But as long as we're quoting people, quote: "If a computer could do this job, they wouldn't need me. What I'm paid for is my instincts, the nerve endings that go hot and cold when I'm looking at a computer. When the day comes that I can't smell guilt, retire me." Unquote.
Ironside: Who said that?
Ed: You did.
Ironside: That's not bad.
Ironside: Now, Ed, in view of that, I want you to return to San Francisco.
Ed: Chief, I've psyched him into making some kind of move. Now this is what we've been trying to accomplish. If I pull back he can come home and play Sunday school teacher with us from now on.
Ironside: Look, I'm not going to debate with you, Ed. We never meant for you to be a large standing target.
Ed: (begins tapping the phone with his hand) Sir, there must be something wrong with the connection. I can't hear a word you're saying.
Ironside: Don't you give me that Admiral Nelson stuff. I was using the spyglass to the blind eye routine before you kicked pablum. (Ed hangs up) Ed!
Mark: That's right, he's your monster. You got to love him.
Ironside: I won't ask you about your golf game. I can't stand to hear a grown man cry.
Mark: How come when you play dirty the referee is always looking the other way?
Ironside: Sometime, I'll tell you my secret.