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Joan of Arcadia: The Fire and the Wood

For her second assignment, God tells Joan to enroll in the advance placement chemistry class. Meanwhile, Will runs into difficulty, particularly from the obstinate district attorney, during an arson investigation.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x2
Production Number: 101
Airdate: Friday October 03rd, 2003

Director: James Hayman
Writer: Hart Hanson

Guest Stars
Barbara Evans (1)Barbara Evans (1)
As Jeanne
Becky WahlstromBecky Wahlstrom
As Grace Polk
Chris MarquetteChris Marquette
As Adam Rove
David GrammerDavid Grammer
As Carl Rove
Derek MorganDerek Morgan
As Lt. Roy Roebuck
Elaine HendrixElaine Hendrix
As Ms. Lischak
Erik PalladinoErik Palladino
As Lt. Michael Daghlian
John GetzJohn Getz
As D.A. Gabe Fellowes
Juliette GogliaJuliette Goglia
As Little Girl (God)
Patrick FabianPatrick Fabian
As Gavin Price
Roark CritchlowRoark Critchlow
As TV Anchorman (God)
Conor OConor O'Farrell
As Fire Chief Thomas Wyatt
Garrett RunckGarrett Runck
As Rumpled Boy
James Martin KellyJames Martin Kelly
As Sweeper Driver (God)
John KassirJohn Kassir
As Mime God
Louan GideonLouan Gideon
As Val Wyatt
Robert ClendeninRobert Clendenin
As Linesman (God)
Tiffany DuPontTiffany DuPont
As Drive-Thru Girl (Barbie)
Main Cast
Joe MantegnaJoe Mantegna
As Will Girardi
Mary SteenburgenMary Steenburgen
As Helen Girardi
Amber TamblynAmber Tamblyn
As Joan Girardi
Jason RitterJason Ritter
As Kevin Girardi
Michael WelchMichael Welch
As Luke Girardi
Episode Notes
This episode marks the first appearances of Christopher Marquette (Adam Rove) and Becky Wahlstrom (Grace Polk) on the series. They would both appear in every subsequent episode and become regular cast members during the second season.

This episode marks the first appearances of District Attorney Gabe Fellowes (John Getz), Roy Roebuck (Derek Morgan) and Miss Lischak (Elaine Hendrix) on the series.

This episode is the first mention of Adam's photographic memory.

John Getz,, who plays D.A. Gabe Fellows, also appeared on Three's Company as Lee Tripper, brother of Jack Tripper (played by John Ritter).

Joan was #1 in its time slot and #24 overall for the week with 12.5 million viewers and a household rating/share of 8.4/15.

Erik Palladino is now listed as "Special Guest Star."

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Amy FairchildBeautiful Secret 
Kit HainNobody Told Me 
Maren OrdPerfect 
Warren ZevonBack In the High Life Again 
The White StripesSeven Nation Army 

Episode Quotes
Electrician (God): Look, you won't always know why I ask you to do things. You won't always see the effects. Just think about what you learned in AP Chemistry.
Joan: I didn't learn anything. I got the others to do it.
Electrician (God): The smallest catalyst can set off mind-boggling chain-reactions. One time, I said, 'Let there be light'.. all hell broke loose, figuratively speaking.

Little Girl (God): I put a lot of thought into the universe. I came up with the rules. It sets a bad example if I break them. Not to mention, it shows favouritism. Why should one person get a miracle, and not everybody else?

Little Girl (God): You'd like to give me a slap, wouldn't you?
Joan: Yeah...but you're so cute.
Little Girl (God): By the way, as an instrument of Me, have some pride. Do better. Do your best.
Joan: Now I'd like to slap you.

Grace: What burns is the gas released when the wood gets hot. Therefore the reaction would have to be gasification through oxidation reduction, then combustion.
Luke: It is so hot that you know that.

Electrician (God): Okay, newsflash, don't need to let me in on your thinking process. I'm omniscient.

Joan: So my true nature is I'm a catalyst? That's mad anticlimatic.
Electrician (God): Anticlimactic. "Anticlimatic" means you're...against the weather.

Joan: God.
Electrician (God): Yes?
Joan: No, I was taking your name in vain, to be technical. Sorry.

Luke: (about the one nice thing he did that day) I didn't laugh when Joan was introduced to my AP chem class.

Helen: (to a late student) What is the reason for your tardiness?
Grace: Take a guess. He's still in his jammies.

Joan: Well, did we get it right?
Luke: It's like watching three monkeys build a particle accelerator out of tinfool and a BB gun.

Adam: I have an eidetic memory.
Joan: What's that?
Luke: Photographic.
Grace: (referring to Adam) He can barely remember his name.

Will: We just passed an extremely rude boy outside.
Helen: No! That wasn't a boy. That was Grace Polk.

Joan: So, what do we do first?
Grace: Ask your brother for the answer.

Adam: Dude, are you smart?
Grace: Just because I rebuke to the whole "formal schooling equals knowledge" crap doesn't mean I'm stupid.

Joan: Don't you have any friends that you could walk to school with?
Luke: Don't worry they'll think I'm cool stylin with my big sister. Oh wait, you're worried that one of your friends will see us together...Oh, wait a minute, you don't have any friends.
Joan: And ironically you're still cramping my style.

Adam: I talk to angels.
(Joan stares at him)
Adam: Relax, Jane, it's a metaphor.
Joan: What would you do if you really did talk to angels?
Adam: Keep my mouth shut.

(The previous night God had appeared on TV and Will turned it off)
God: Joan, you want proof? When you're all alone you practice French kissing in the mirror.
Joan: Shhhh. Why do you have to be so mean? Oh, and by the way, the other night, it was my father that turned you off, not me.
God: Oh, okay. He shall burn for eternity in Hell.
Joan: What? No, he's a nice guy and he didn't mean it...
God: I'm just kidding, where do you people get this stuff?

Mr. Price: If I even suspect that you are under the influence of drugs what will happen?
Adam: You'll urine test me.
Mr. Price: For your own good.
Adam: And call the cops.
Mr. Price: Uh...huh.
Adam: Ruin my life.
Mr. Price: All for your own good.

Adam: Well, nice work Jane.
(He leaves. Helen seems amused and looks at Joan)
Joan: He calls me "Jane" sometimes when he forgets that my name is Joan.

Will: (to Helen after meeting Adam and Grace for the first time) These are Joan's new friends? A person of mysterious gender and space boy?

(Joan hands Adam his school bag, where inside are metal pieces he uses for his art)
Adam: (to Joan, referring to the art piece in front of him) Thanks for bringing these things back for the...thing.

God: Just because I speak doesn't mean anyone has to listen.
Joan: Really?
God: Yeah. Free will is actually one of my better innovations. I give suggestions, not assignments.
Joan: I feel a suggestion coming on.
God: Stop squandering the potential I gave you...Stop underachieving...Have some pride...
Joan: Wait. In what? In school?
God: School's a start, yeah. Stand back.
(He starts streetcleaner)
Joan: Pride? What happened to humility?
God: Humility isn't actually humility, unless you're good enough at something to be humble.

Episode Goofs
When asked what the chemical formula of cellulose is, Adam responds C6H12O6. In actual fact, this is the formula of glucose.

Although it is later revealed in "Jump" that they have known each other since they were three, Adam and Grace do not seem to know each other well in this episode.

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