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Joan of Arcadia: Do the Math

God tells Joan to take piano lessons; Joan helps her piano teacher deal with her past; Joan learns a painful secret Will and Helen have been keeping from the family; Iris becomes suspicious of Adam and Joan closeness.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x19
Production Number: 118
Airdate: Friday April 02nd, 2004

Director: Rob Morrow
Writer: Antoinette Stella

Guest Stars
Becky WahlstromBecky Wahlstrom
As Grace Polk
Ben SieglerBen Siegler
As Dr. Rodney Hughes
Chris MarquetteChris Marquette
As Adam Rove
Misti TrayaMisti Traya
As Iris
Mitch LongleyMitch Longley
As Barry "The Bear" Caldwell
Russ TamblynRuss Tamblyn
As Dog Walker (God)
Svetlana EfremovaSvetlana Efremova
As Doctor
Bradley WhiteBradley White
As Richard Girardi
Brandon ZankichBrandon Zankich
As Skateboarder
John Ross BowieJohn Ross Bowie
As Mr. Campbell
Maury GinsbergMaury Ginsberg
As Piano Tuner (God)
Main Cast
Joe MantegnaJoe Mantegna
As Will Girardi
Mary SteenburgenMary Steenburgen
As Helen Girardi
Amber TamblynAmber Tamblyn
As Joan Girardi
Jason RitterJason Ritter
As Kevin Girardi
Michael WelchMichael Welch
As Luke Girardi
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Billy and The Lost BoysWake Up 
Howie DayCollide 
The LoveliesConstellation 
Peter HimmelmanDiscipline of Rain 
Susie TallmanItsy Bitsy Spider 

Episode Quotes
Joan: Do you realize the ratio of whole numbers that governs harmony is like the same ratio that governs all of geometry?
Luke: Of course.
Joan: Well you can't play eensie weensie spider...Dork.

Joan: If you don't help me, I gonna tell Mom you and Glynis are knockin' boots, and she's going to give you the sex lecture every day for months.
Luke: That would be spurious, manipulative fiction and...
Joan: (in a Southern accent) Luke, when two people love each other very much...
Luke: Okay, I'll do it!

Joan: (to Grace) Aww! Vomit, how cute.

Joan: Wow, that was great!
Eva: No one likes a suck-up.

Kevin: Why is she doing this?
Helen: With your sister I've learned not to ask. I'm afraid she'll explain.

Joan: Yeah, well you can raise people from the dead, so just wave your hand and fix this stupid thing.
Piano Tuner (God): If you want special effects rent Lord of the Rings.

Joan: (to Adam) It's just one other thing that's wildly out of control! Us! Or at least me, the human wrecking ball!

Joan: My parents, lying to my face. What's so hard about telling the truth?
Adam: I don't think we'll ever understand 'em.
(Adam takes her hand)
Adam: Let's never be like that.
Joan: What if it just happens? Like skin getting all wrinkly.
Adam: We won't let it.

Luke: Joan, you remember watching The Godfather with Dad? He thinks it's a documentary. You do not mess around with Italians and their families.

Luke: (after Joan calls Richard) You're going to be sleeping with the fishes.

Adam: I was just scared, Jane. Got kinda hurt before, and I thought about you, and being scared didn't matter that much.

Joan: I just think you should let "A" be Adam, okay "I"?

Teacher: Then show us that the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the sides squared.
Joan: (hesitates) I can add fractions.

Joan: (referring to Adam) I mean, how can he let Iris pick out his clothes?
Grace: She probably does it after they make out - you know, when he has no will of his own.

Joan: Don't you have a Hebrew class you should be at?
Grace: Yeah. Why do you think I'm here?

Joan: (about Eva) She's sour on the inside. Maybe it's all the Scotch.
Adam: Or, you know, maybe...bad ripples?

Joan: (about Adam's 1970s shirt) He looks like an escapee from a VH1 Special.

Adam: Hey, you're crying.
Joan: Don't worry, it's not because of you... but I'm sure you were in there somewhere.

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