Balloon Sculptor (God): Good is relevant. Beauty's relevant. Everything's relevant. Except for me. I'm absolute.
Joan: I thought that was vodka.
Glynis: I think I'm going to walk down the hall without my glasses. Wish me luck...and balance.
Goth Kid (God): Everybody has a best feature, Joan. I saw to that.
Joan: Did Mom send me up here to see if I'm nuts?
Kevin: I don't think there's any doubt about that.
Helen: (sniffs) Is that you?
Helen: You stink!
Joan: Thank you.
Joan: So the rank, stinky, slob thing, that's a turn-on for you?
Adam: If it's who you are.
Adam: I really liked that pink shirt you were wearing the other day.
Joan: I think I threw that out.
Adam: The mall gives me a rash, Jane.
Adam: I don't see the giraffe.
Glynis: What a glorious day today.
Joan: Can you even see it?
Adam: The mall really does freak me out...its like all the stores are yelling at me!
Joan: I guess that makes us both crazy.
Adam: We got that going for us.
Joan: Power to the pimple.
Joan: The bat mitzvah thing? Isn't that over?
Grace: You'll know when it's over. There'll be a big, embarrassing party with rubber chicken and old Jews dancing to Donna Summer.
Miss Candy: There's no need to apologize for the pursuit of beauty. Ancient civilizations understood this.
Joan: So, it's important to look your best while...being a human sacrifice?
Joan: (referring to Luke) He doesn't compliment you?
Glynis: Once he told me my dermis was pleasantly exothermic.
Joan: Caring about your appearance is a soulless expression of vanity.
Helen: If you've been smoking marijuana, honey, you need to tell me.
Joan: We're both about more than superficial appearances. Like you!
Grace: Hey, I look good!