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Joan of Arcadia: Vanity, Thy Name Is Human

Joan takes a cosmetics class, per God's request, and Kevin doesn't react well to crossing paths with the last girlfriend he dated before his disabling accident. Glynis' flattering makeover attracts a great deal of positive attention at school, which only adds to Joan's disappointment when Adam fails to notice her own new look. Meanwhile, Kevin, who remains bitter with the belief that he had been dumped by Beth because he had become a paraplegic, harshly rebuffs her efforts to make peace with him.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 1x21
Production Number: 120
Airdate: Friday May 07th, 2004

Director: Jerry Levine
Writer: Robert Girardi

Guest Stars
Aaron HimelsteinAaron Himelstein
As Friedman
Becky WahlstromBecky Wahlstrom
As Grace Polk
Chris MarquetteChris Marquette
As Adam Rove
Derek MorganDerek Morgan
As Undersheriff Roy Roebuck
Elaine HendrixElaine Hendrix
As Ms. Lischak
Jeffrey LiconJeffrey Licon
As Goth Kid (God)
Kimberly McCulloughKimberly McCullough
As Beth Rhinehart
Mageina TovahMageina Tovah
As Glynis Figliola
Mark TottyMark Totty
As Detective Carlisle
Amber FordAmber Ford
As Girl
Andrea Ana PersunAndrea Ana Persun
As Croatian Woman
David RuprechtDavid Ruprecht
As Bill Cummins
Erin ChambersErin Chambers
As Cheerleader (God)
Joel MurrayJoel Murray
As Balloon Sculptor (God)
John FleckJohn Fleck
As Ken Thompson
Josip KuchanJosip Kuchan
As Tall Man
Ping WuPing Wu
As Pharmacist
Shelley LongShelley Long
As Miss Candy
Main Cast
Joe MantegnaJoe Mantegna
As Will Girardi
Mary SteenburgenMary Steenburgen
As Helen Girardi
Amber TamblynAmber Tamblyn
As Joan Girardi
Jason RitterJason Ritter
As Kevin Girardi
Michael WelchMichael Welch
As Luke Girardi
ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Army Of FreshmanPut Me In A Photograph 
David WilcoxFall Away 
Jeff LingleLime Sherbert 
Jeff LingleWetter Than Water 
Joe DeveauLast Of Him 
Q-Burns Abstract MessageDrifting Off 
VealI Hate Your Lipstick 
Wilfred N & The Grown MenOh Yeah Oh Yeah 
Young CircleChained At The Wrist 

Episode Quotes
Balloon Sculptor (God): Good is relevant. Beauty's relevant. Everything's relevant. Except for me. I'm absolute.
Joan: I thought that was vodka.

Glynis: I think I'm going to walk down the hall without my glasses. Wish me luck...and balance.

Goth Kid (God): Everybody has a best feature, Joan. I saw to that.

Joan: Did Mom send me up here to see if I'm nuts?
Kevin: I don't think there's any doubt about that.

Helen: (sniffs) Is that you?
Joan: Yes.
Helen: You stink!
Joan: Thank you.

Joan: So the rank, stinky, slob thing, that's a turn-on for you?
Adam: If it's who you are.

Adam: I really liked that pink shirt you were wearing the other day.
Joan: I think I threw that out.

Adam: The mall gives me a rash, Jane.

Adam: I don't see the giraffe.

Glynis: What a glorious day today.
Joan: Can you even see it?

Adam: The mall really does freak me out...its like all the stores are yelling at me!
Joan: I guess that makes us both crazy.
Adam: We got that going for us.

Joan: Power to the pimple.

Joan: The bat mitzvah thing? Isn't that over?
Grace: You'll know when it's over. There'll be a big, embarrassing party with rubber chicken and old Jews dancing to Donna Summer.

Miss Candy: There's no need to apologize for the pursuit of beauty. Ancient civilizations understood this.
Joan: So, it's important to look your best while...being a human sacrifice?

Joan: (referring to Luke) He doesn't compliment you?
Glynis: Once he told me my dermis was pleasantly exothermic.

Joan: Caring about your appearance is a soulless expression of vanity.
Helen: If you've been smoking marijuana, honey, you need to tell me.

Joan: We're both about more than superficial appearances. Like you!
Grace: Hey, I look good!

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