Joan: Hey! I called at your studio, like, 6 times, but the voice mail kept picking up.
Adam: Oh, I called you back, but your mom said you were sorting donations. Are we ever gonna get to see each other?
Joan: Now works for me. You wanna go roll around in the clothes?
Adam: You stole from the homeless?
Joan: Yes. I am a horrible human being.
Joan: Well, you weren't supposed to say that.
Adam: Jane, you-- you stole from the homeless.
Joan: Okay! I think we've established that.
Lilly: (referring to Joan) Has she ever been drug-tested...?
Lilly: St. Helen the Bitchy...
Joan: Judith, that's Friedman. He's the Ebola virus in tube socks.
Joan: I screw up and I have to be your slave?
Helen: That's one of the joys of motherhood.
Bad Stand-Up Comedian (God): Here, what does this (dollar bill) say?
Joan: "In You We Trust"...