Joan: You really are omnipresent, aren't you?
Cute Boy (God): I get around.
Grace: I was in the neighbourhood.
Grace: No. But it makes this whole thing go easier.
Joan: Would you care to be a little more specific?
Cute Boy (God): For me, that is specific.
Kevin: Girls really do think about all that?
Helen: We can spend two hours thinking about shoes.
Joan: (to Cute Guy (God)) Do girls always hit on you with that look? Oh, they do. Hitting on God. That's gross!
Joan: If I did a belly flop from the high board, I could have exploded! I take physics! I know these things!
Luke: I couldn't dive because I was afraid I'd look stupid.
Joan: Hey, if I let that stop me, I'd never do anything.
Tommy: (patting his abdomen) Hardest substance on earth, ladies! You can touch it if you want.
Coach Keady: You'd better be wearing a bathing suit, Mr. Belkin.
Joan: Luke in a Speedo. They don't make enough blindfolds.
Joan: God mocking humans? That's nice.
Female Custodian (God): Belly flop. Eternally funny. Nothin' I can do about it.
Coach Keady: Sibling rivalry. Healthy motivator. The Williams Sisters. The Carpenters. Donny and Marie – not so much.
Joan: Who bathed in Drakkar?
Kevin: It said, "apply liberally." Pardon me for following directions.