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Joan of Arcadia: Romancing the Joan

God wants Joan to do an extra credit assignment on Romantic poetry; Adam takes on a perky and cute assistant (special guest star Haylie Duff); Lucy gets a promotion; Helen takes a break from her Catholic studies; Kevin decides to get back into the dating game.

Episode Info  

Episode number: 2x15
Production Number: 215
Airdate: Friday February 11th, 2005

Director: Joanna Kerns
Writer: Barbara Hall

Guest Stars
Aaron HimelsteinAaron Himelstein
As Friedman
Annie PottsAnnie Potts
As Lieutenant Lucy Preston
Constance ZimmerConstance Zimmer
As Sister Lilly Watters
Elaine HendrixElaine Hendrix
As Ms. Lischak
Haylie DuffHaylie Duff
As Stevie Marx
Juliette GogliaJuliette Goglia
As Little Girl (God)
Justin ScotJustin Scot
As Officer Eicher
Mark MatkevichMark Matkevich
As Roger
Mark TottyMark Totty
As Det. Carlisle
Gil GlasgowGil Glasgow
As Mr. Ward
Jordan DavidJordan David
As Geek (God)
Michelle L. GardnerMichelle L. Gardner
As Substitute Teacher (God)
Rick FittsRick Fitts
As Paul Brumfield
Susan GraceSusan Grace
As Mrs. Gross

Molly MorganMolly Morgan
As Stella
Main Cast
Joe MantegnaJoe Mantegna
As Will Girardi
Mary SteenburgenMary Steenburgen
As Helen Girardi
Amber TamblynAmber Tamblyn
As Joan Girardi
Jason RitterJason Ritter
As Kevin Girardi
Michael WelchMichael Welch
As Luke Girardi
Chris MarquetteChris Marquette
As Adam Rove
Becky WahlstromBecky Wahlstrom
As Grace Polk
Episode Notes
Haylie Duff (Stevie Marx) is the elder sister of Hilary Duff who played Dylan Samuels in "The Rise & Fall of Joan Girardi".

ArtistSong TitlePlayed When
Absinthe AcademyMidnight 
Amel LarrieuxBravebird 
Carrie HorachekThink About It 
DeeShooting Stars 
Doubting ParisQueen of the Radio 
Jon Ray LeslieSteel 
Karla AndersonWhat Else Can I Do 
LiataNon Lasciar Costi 
Move.MeantGit it Right 
SolamingusThe Classics 

Episode Quotes
Grace: I think I actually lost body weight from boredom.

Grace: What is with all this trying, Girardi? You're like a stranger to me.

Joan: Am I losing Adam?
Geek (God): People don't really belong to each other, Joan regardless of what contract they sign. They choose each other every day.

Adam: Love…it's like a mental illness or something.

Lilly: Thinking you're the worst person in the world is no different than thinking you're the best. It's giving yourself a place in the universe you haven't earned.

Joan: I don't know!
Ms. Lischak: Pre-emptive ignorance, Ms. Girardi. I haven't asked a question.

Little Girl (God): They all move towards spiritual growth and enlightenment.
Joan: Yeah, that's really going to work with the kids.

Joan: When did you know you were going to marry Dad?
Helen: About a week before the wedding.

Kevin: Is this a popular nun hangout?
Lilly: There's no such thing as a popular nun.

Joan: I don't get it. These poems are supposed to be romantic but they're all about death.
Luke: Death is romantic.
Grace: Especially when there's blood.
Luke: Or a plague.

Lilly: Evil is charming and beautiful. It makes you doubt yourself. It asks for one small compromise after another until it whittles you down. And it functions best when no one believes in it.

Helen: He thinks (Lucy's) great, and that I'm just being paranoid...which is...probably true.
Lilly: Really. Yeah, no, I'm sure you are not intuitive. You're just a woman, and an artist.

Little Girl (God): Romance serves a purpose. It's a meditative state. It puts logic to sleep so that people can come together. Otherwise you guys probably wouldn't risk it.

Lilly: Okay. Well, um, I’ve had about as much fun as a girl can have in one night.
Kevin: No. I’m sorry. I really am sorry. Stay. I’ll -- I’ll be charming. I’ll be ebullient, even. I feel ebullience coming on.
Lilly: I’ve never liked cleaning up committee.
Kevin: Look, I was horrible to her, okay? I have some residual guilt. You of all people should understand.
Lilly: Quick story before I go, okay? Um, the reason I became a nun is because after the second time I stole money from my blind grandmother to run away from home to join a surfing colony, I decided that I was such a horrible person that no normal remedy could save me. Thinking you’re the worst person in the world is no different than thinking you’re the best. It’s giving yourself a place in the universe you haven’t earned. Thanks for dinner.

Little Girl (God): And they all lived happily ever after?
(She turns around)
Little Girl (God): There's a surprise. (scoffs) You guys really like that ending.
Joan: Yeah, well, you have a better one?
Little Girl (God): They all moved towards spiritual growth and enlightenment?
Joan: Yeah. That's gonna work with the kids.
Little Girl (God): Ever notice that the guy always has to risk his life and the girl is nearly dead when he finds her? It takes a kiss to wake her up and they ride off together. It's a nice metaphor.
Joan: For what?
Little Girl (God): Death and resurrection.
Joan: Yeah. Well, that's a fun party game.
Little Girl (God): It happens all the time. The illusion dies so that something deeper can take its place.
(Joan sits down)
Joan: Are you saying that... Adam and I are an illusion?
Little Girl (God): Romance serves a purpose. It’s a meditative state. It puts logic to sleep so that people can come together. Otherwise you guys probably wouldn't risk it.
Joan: Why did you have to make love so complicated? I mean... couldn't that one thing been easy?
Little Girl (God): Love is big. It's a bright light in the universe and a bright light casts a big shadow. So, what do you wanna do, Joan?
Joan: (sighs) How am I supposed to know?
Little Girl (God): By looking at it. Real love is hard work; you have to decide if you want it in your story. Or if you'd rather just stay in the dream.

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