(Jim explains the internet)
Jim: You see Billy, the internet is filled with horrible things, like pedophilia, or bestiality, (Jim gets a little angry) and people who comment on stand up routines that they don't understand.
(Jim goes into his "Fifties Dad" voice)
Jim: Billy, women don't want you to be yourself. At times they say they do, but you know women. They like to lie. ... You try to accommodate them, which is an activity that women can't relate to. So you change and try to be what they want you to be. You change and they believe that you don't have balls anymore. So you change back to yourself and they think you're a bastard.
(Jim paces doing his "Fifties Dad" voice)
Jim: Women date men on death row because they know where they are every minute of the day, and that makes them feel secure. That's what women really want, your soul Billy, and sparkly things...and plants.
(After demonstrating his technique directly on Billy, Steve interrupts)
Billy: (Starts to look flattered, then confident) It works.
Steve: Bullshit. He gets laid more than we do because he's better looking.
Billy: I object.
Jim: I am better looking than Steve, but I'm not better looking than you and your crazy blue eyes! (Billy smiles, flattered again)