Dooley: This is boot hill. I like to come up here at times and maybe get ahead a grave or two.
Freddie: Too much education has been the death of me already.
Dooley: Professional gamblers and cardsharps stay away from Elwood, Kansas. They know we don't want 'em in our town.
Dooley: (about Bret) How do you know he's a professional gambler, Clyde?
Clyde: He's a wearin' a clean, white shirt and a black necktie and he's a winnin', Mr. Dooley.
Amy: Mort, be careful.
Bret: (about Freddie) Marshal, I know that man. He's a professional card player and he cheats.
Dooley: Mister, I know a respectable businessman when I see one.
Bret: (to Freddie) I heard your performance over at the saloon. Even through the back door it sounded magnificent.
Dooley: Now it's my policy to allow a dog or a dern fool one mistake. Whichever category you are, Maverick, you've had yours.
Dooley: (to Bret) Pleasant journey, and a long one.
Dooley: One thing about bein' a peace officer, it keeps you on the move. You never know where you're gonna be sent next or by who.
Dooley: (about the diggings in town) Kids in this town are gettin' meaner every day. It's you parents' fault for not takin' a stick to 'em.
Mrs. McElhanney: Sir, I find your manners of speech inexcusable.
Freddie: Of course you do. Let's hear yours.
Dooley (at the showdown) Go ahead, use your gun, Maverick.
Bret: Heck, Marshal, what's the point of that? I'm just as far out of range as you are.
Doc: Like the feller hisself said, Mort, he was outta range. If you'd a been just twenty feet closer you'd a got him.
Clyde: You'd a got him six times, Mr. Dooley.
Badger: (to Bret and Freddie) I hope I never see either of you again.
Dooley: (after "running" Bret out of town) Well, that's the story. That tinhorn in the end turned out to be just as yellow as the rest of 'em.
Freddie: (to Bret) You'll never get nowheres in this cold, cruel world. Too sentimental, you are.