Freddie Bognor: I regret the need to say it, but you're most adept with your hands, Mr.…
Bart: Maverick! Bart Maverick! You're sort of adept yourself.
Freddie Bognor: Oh?
Bart: Like with four card draw.
Freddie Bognor: Oh… you mean three card draw.
Bart: No, four card. Three from the deck and one from your sleeve.
Freddie Bognor: Well, I must say, a patron of the arts?
Bart: All 52.
Bart: No wonder at all, Freddie. The only thing they forgot when they made you was a fuse.
Freddie Bognor: The idea I'm wondering about could be worth $2,000.
Bart: Wonder a little more.
Freddie Bognor: Splendid, come along. Oh, and so there's nothing between us... (hands Bart his wallet back)
Bart: My wallet!
Freddie Bognor: Public school training. Devilish hard habit to break.
(after Beau explains his war medal to reporters)
Bart: What are you doing? Get them back here, deny everything.
Beau: What are you talking about?
Bart: That story, they'll publish it, Pappy reads it, he'll send you back to England for five more years.
Beau: Uncle Beau should know the facts.
Bart: Look, I just quieted him down enough to think about you in simple sentences. Now you do this.
Beau: But I'm innocent.
Bart: You won a medal. That's what Pappy claimed he could never forgive.
Beau: (about Freddie) Is that the little weasel?
Bart: Complete with chicken coop.
Beau: If you'd calm down a little, we might talk business.
Herbert: Like what?
Beau: Well, like how I can get you more money faster.
Molly: You mean from your own father?
Beau: Sentimentality, my dear, never compounded interest.
(Beau explains his "ransom" plan)
Beau: Well, what do you say?
Herbert: I say it's... it's like confrontin' the Devil without takin' the trip.
Marquis of Bognor: Maverick, I'm beginning to believe they slapped the wrong end when you were born.
Bart: Uh, well, couldn't we just set a trap by staying here and depositing the money in the bank? Then the kidnappers would have to come to us.
Marquis of Bognor: Traps? Money? Get it through your head. I've been challenged, man. We go to them.
Molly: Oh, sure. Me, a barmaid. I'd show up at the castle and they'd never let me in. Probably throw me in the moat.
Beau: You, uh, could improve yourself. It's been done before.
Molly: I've heard of that, too. (using an upper class British accent) You walk around, straight as an andiron, practicing things like, "The grain in this plain could never grow in Spain."
Beau: You've got it! By Jove, you've got it!
Marquis: (about the Bar-H Ranch) I say, shabby place. Rather run down.
Marquis of Bognor: I say, is this the Bar H?
McGee: It is. Now move!
Marquis of Bognor: Western hospitality!
McGee: You're standing on me foot!
Marquis of Bognor: Oh. I've an idea it's odd to find it on the ground instead of in your mouth.
Marquis of Bognor: Pecos? Brazos?
McGee: They're Texans. Texans are all named after rivers and forts.
Bart: What did I do?
Beau: I couldn't explain in seven centuries.