Pappyism: Any man who needs to make out a will just isn't spending his money properly.
Bart: Oh, come now Modesty, you know you're not gonna marry that fella. You can't. He's nothing but a shriveled up, little old…
Modesty Blaine: Millionaire.
Bart: Yeah. Uh, no! Yeah, well, what I mean, what if he is? Still not enough reason to marry him.
Modesty Blaine: Bart, you know there's never been anyone else in my life but you.
Bart: Now, Modesty, that…
Modesty Blaine: And all I ever wanted was just a little money, so we could be happy.
Bart: How much is a little money?
Modesty Blaine: Oh, a hundred… thousand… dollars.
Bart: A hundred… Now whatever you're gonna say, I don't wanna hear a word about it.
Modesty Blaine: But it'll be easy, I have a plan.
Bart: Modesty, every time you have a plan, I always end up in trouble.
Bart: I thought you were a friend of mine?
Doc Holliday: I thought so too until you ran out on me in Wichita.
Bart: Now, Doc, I couldn't help that and you know it. Why I can even give you back the money we lost, right now.
Doc Holliday: Too late. I've had to get myself a job.
Bart: Doc, help me.
Doc Holliday: All right, I'll help you. I could be a character witness for you.
Bart: Oh, fine! That'll just get me tarred and feathered!
Amos Skinner: Ah, he doesn't look like a criminal type. Weak-features, perhaps, but certainly not a bad lookin' fella.
Bart: Well, thank you very much, Mr. Skinner.
Amos Skinner: If he's not out of this state by midnight, you may take your three weeks pay out of his hide! Then bring him back… and I'll give him about a year to recover - in jail!
Bart: In jail? For what?
Amos Skinner: Oh, I'll think of something.
Bart: Mr. Skinner, you can't do this to me. I'm gonna see the Governor hears about this.
Amos Skinner: Be sure to say hello for me. He's my brother
Doc Holliday: Relax, Sprague, and join me in a little toast to underhandedness, the delay of progress and man's inhumanity to man.
Montague Sprague: I never allow whiskey to interfere with business.
Doc Holliday: You call this dirty little scheme of yours business?
Montague Sprague: Now see here, Holliday, you were perfectly willing to take my money.
Doc Holliday: I happened to need it.
Doc Holliday: If Bart Maverick wants to play poker, he shall play poker.
Leroy Hoad: Look, buster, I'm the deputy on this railroad, so don't get gay.
Doc Holliday: Well, I'm not particularly known for my gaiety, and I say he shall play poker.
Leroy Hoad: You wanna bet?
Diamond Jim Brady: If you do, I'll take some of the action. Unless I've mistaken my man, you are Doc Holliday?
Bart: Uh, the one and only.
Montague Sprague: Holliday, you better get things fixed - a lot depends on it.
Doc Holliday: If it'll take a load off of your rather insignificant little mind, I should tell you that I've arranged to delay the train for at least five hours.
Montague Sprague: There's no need to be rude.
Doc Holliday: A very bad habit of mine, but you can help me overcome it… by keeping your revolting person out of my sight.
Diamond Jim Brady: I think this hand is, uh, worth a friendly bet, uh, five hundred?
Bart: Did you say friendly?
Diamond Jim Brady: Ah, come on Bart, you can't take it with you.
Bart: Well, my only problem is, Jim, to, uh, make it stretch till I go. Call.
Diamond Jim Brady: Doc?
Doc Holliday: I think I'll go back to drinking
Justin Radcliffe: Uh, your gun, please. We don't want the others to become suspicious.
Doc Holliday: I'll put it inside my coat.
Justin Radcliffe: Please, Mr. Holliday.
Doc Holliday: Offhand, I'd say I could draw and fire three shots through your liver before you fired once, Mr. Radcliffe.
Justin Radcliffe: You always were one for violence, weren't you, Doctor?
Justin Radcliffe: You see, I'm rather well-known myself, in a different line, of course. Justin Radcliffe. You know the name?
Diamond Jim Brady: I've heard of it. Didn't know you were out of prison.
Justin Radcliffe: I was restored to society quite recently
Bart: Mr. Radcliffe, don't you like it on the outside. Or are you looking for a nice, quiet cell to write another book?
Diamond Jim Brady: You could derail the baggage car … crack the safe at your leisure.
Justin Radcliffe: You simply don't understand, do you, Mr. Brady. No one understood. They all laughed at my theories - said they'd never work! So, I decided to show them. I vowed that when I was released, I'd commit a crime of such magnitude, of such daring, as to remove all doubt from the minds … of those philistines! And so I have. I have stolen a train - a whole train! It's mine. Until I'm finished with it.
Justin Radcliffe: Now! If you will excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, business calls.
Diamond Jim Brady: You may find that safe a little tough to open.
Justin Radcliffe: You should've read my book, Mr. Brady, I am also the world's greatest safecracker.
Doc Holliday: He must do something about that inferiority complex.
Bart: Hey, matter of fact, I think my old Pappy used to sell stock in that mine.
Diamond Jim Brady: Your Pappy sold stock in a real mine? Oh, Bart, you know perfectly well he never did a honest day's work in his life.
Bart: Now, Jim, he sold that stock after the vein petered out.
Diamond Jim Brady: Oh, that's better. For a minute there you nearly shook my faith in him. Mm-m-m, I wish he were here now. A wonderful man, your Pappy, with his devious, conniving ways. He'd figure out something to get us outta this.
Bart: You know, he might at that. 'Course, he'd stick you pretty good for it.
Diamond Jim Brady: Naturally. But I'd gladly pay ten thousand dollars for the privilege.
Bart: Say, Jim, like father, like son… does that offer hold true for me?
Bart: It's not that I, um, I'm suspicious of you being subversive, Doc, but is that a gun underneath your coat? (Doc looks uncomfortable) Why'd you do it?
Doc Holliday: I had no idea that you were going to be on this train. I wish you'd stop going around getting yourself into trouble.
Bart: Getting myself into trouble?
Doc Holliday: Getting involved with some innocent young girl.
Bart: Doc, I don't wanna disillusion you about that sweet, innocent girl, but she's got more larceny in her little finger than you got in your whole body. It's because of her that Hoad's out to kill me. And if he's not successful, Radcliffe will finish the job.
Doc Holliday: Radcliffe?
Doc Holliday: Well, why Radcliffe?
Bart: She got to the safe before him. She got the money, but she planted it on me.
Doc Holliday: Pretty little thing.
Bart: Yeah, like a female panther.
Doc Holliday: I'd love to see Radcliffe's face when he opens that safe!
Justin Radcliffe: Well, Mr. Maverick, perhaps you can help me. I seem to have lost a bit of money.
Bart: Did you look in all your pockets?
Justin Radcliffe: That's a very good question. Yes, I did. Now let me ask you one : would you rather be poor and alive - or rich and dead?
Bart: Uh, which means that your job is completed, too, so I claim diplomatic immunity.
Leroy Hoad: Well, I guess you're right, there's only one thing - you won't be able to ride back with us, Bart.
Leroy Hoad: Well, I've got my orders.
Bart: Well, now, be reasonable, Hoad, it's a 15-mile walk to the nearest town.
Diamond Jim Brady: I'm afraid he's got you, Bart. Uh, you wouldn't want him to lose his job, would you?
Bart: Well, no, but I…
Diamond Jim Brady: Oh, ah, here's that money I owe you. And, uh, say hello to your Pappy. Eh, tell him I congratulate him on the underhanded way he raised his son - the true Maverick tradition.