Reddit's Ask Me Anything series has produced some gems in the past, but none quite on the level of "Parks & Recreation" actor Nick Offerman's contribution. The stone-faced actor sat down for a question-and-answer session with the site that was laden with his trademark sarcasm and wit.
Both actor and character share a love of woodworking. Offerman even runs his own woodshop. The actor summarized the pleasures he derives from his craft: "1) When you flood your finished wood with oil, and the grain, color and figure jump out like a visual lung-full of opium smoke (so I've read). 2) When the piece you have wrought comes into use. The canoe, the table, the canoe paddle, the pipe, the cribbage board.... when you rest your steak and your whiskey upon the table you have made, you feel pretty goddamn tall for keeping those treats off the ground."
No, dear reader, these questions were not in fact answered in character as libertarian man's man Ron Swanson. In past interviews, Offerman appears not too unlike his alter-ego on "Parks". He owns the aforementioned woodshop, speaks in a similar monotone manner, and offers abrupt, honest, and humorous observations of situations. Indeed, the character of Swanson was written specifically for the actor, but are there any drastic differences between the two? "I wouldn't call it drastic, but my penis is 5/8" larger than Ron's, in both length AND breadth, but it is held that he wields his with greater aplomb."
Asked to note what he admires in his "Parks & Rec" castmates, Offerman answered with the following:
Amy Poehler - "Her ability to combine mischief with leadership and generosity of spirit."
Adam Scott - "His sweet, gumdrop caboose."
Chris Pratt - "Best personality ever, like a golden lab meets Don Knotts. Also a fine backside."
Rashida Jones - "Incredibly well-adjusted and lovely for having been bitten by Michael Jackson's monkey as a child. Not a euphemism."
Aziz Ansari - "He can say anything in the most hilarious way - also keepin' them buns tight."
Aubrey Plaza - "She is beautiful and wonderful - not evil, don't be ridiculous."
Rob Lowe - "A champion in every way, super funny - wouldn't mind a tad more junk in his trunk."
Retta Sirleaf - "Could rule the world if she so chose. DISCERNING. Beautiful."
For all you Ron Swanson Completists, the entire AMA session can be read here.
What's your favorite Swanson-ism?