Fall TV Dead Pool, five shows destined for cancellation

Once again its fall and time for the networks to parade their best, and worst, new shows before eager viewers hoping to find a new obsession or two.  Many will fail, few will succeed, and more than a couple will be completely dead on arrival.  We’ve checked out dozens of the newest shows coming to television this season and we’re ready to call the worst of the worst.  Here’s our list of the Fall TV Dead Pool, five shows destined for cancelation.

One – “Beauty and the Beast”

Once upon a time there was a bold primetime drama of Beauty and the Beast.  For many of us, it was our first introduction to one Ron Perlman, who played a quite literal Beast, fur and all, to Linda Hamilton’s Beauty, a crusading District Attorney.  Flash forward to the present and a lukewarm reboot on the youth obsessed CW, featuring the stunning and always pouty Kristin Kreuk as a tough as nails (seriously) homicide detective, and some Abercrombie and Fitch  model as the “beast”.  In CW land, having a slight scar on your cheek makes you a beast, as long as you have six pack abs.  Don’t worry though, apparently as the series goes on we find out this Beast is just beastly on the inside.  Not that anyone will stay tuned in long enough to find out. 

Reason it will fail:  Well, for one thing CW doesn’t get the whole point of “Beauty and the Beast” to begin with. 

Two – “Go On”

In Go On, Matthew Perry plays … some guy played by Matthew Perry?  I’m not really sure what his character is supposed to represent, some cranky radio show host who goes to group therapy to find his feelings. 

I thought we established with Mr. Sunshine that Matthew Perry can’t carry a show by merely being there.  To the development execs still wondering why they can’t evoke Perry’s glory days on Friends:  It’s because he was part of an ensemble.  Got that?  If you’re going to try to prop him up in his own sitcom at least give him a story that features him as something other than rich, spoiled, or insensitive.

Reason it will fail:  Someone overestimated Matthew Perry's solo appeal -- again.

Three – “Revolution”

Truth be known, Revolution is one of the better new shows on this season.  The reason I count it among the DOA is that NBC has absolutely no idea how to market it.  Yes they’ve put tons of money into hyping this new show from JJ Abrams, Eric Kripke, and Jon Favreau — only to air it at 10pm Monday after “The Voice”?!  The show is ideal family viewing, which makes it a perfect 8pm show.  That was the timeslot that kick started such other Family Friendly serials as LOST and Heroes.  Revolution has everything needed to lure those same audience numbers, but they’ll never find them at 10pm.

Reason it will fail:  NBC and their crappy scheduling practices.