Weep. Go ahead. It's alright, I'll give you a minute.
Deadline reports that Kris Jenner (aka the mother of those sterling examples of humanity the Kardashian sisters and wife of plastic surgery guinea pig Bruce Jenner) is seeking an daytime talk show outlet to further spew her vacuous, empty-headed garbage. Hey! Maybe Kim and Kourtney can make a guest appearance to give us some beauty tips!
Jenner is reportedly negotiating with 20th Television to join the ranks of Katie Couric, Jeff Probst, and other daytime hosts. Fox TV is also in talks with the queen bee to put together a test show as early as summer. A six-week test run would be in keeping with other hosts who saw success following this formula such as Wendy Williams and Bethenny. “Everyone wants to do a test with the Fox TV stations,” a Fox spokesperson told Deadline, declining further comment. Thankfully, the world is ending in December, so if that timeline holds up we're all good.
In a telling moment, this reporter's computer froze three times attempting to write this "news" item. Clearly my computer can sense pure evil and refuses to participate in the distribution of what can only be an early sign of the impending apocalypse.
God be with you all.