12 Relationship Quotes from Mindy Lahiri

If you’re an avid fan of Mindy Kaling, then that must mean you watch her latest comedy hit, “The Mindy Project.” Kaling plays OB/GYN Mindy Lahiri, who manages to get herself into a variety of remarkably humorous positions, all while looking for love. She also has some of the best lines on TV. Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are some of Mindy’s best quotes from the show, that may or not motivate you about love and relationships.

1. Mindy and Relationship Pacts

At Mindy’s Christmas party, she found out that her boyfriend, Josh (Tommy Dewey), had a secret girlfriend. The bad part? Mindy was the other woman, which sent her into a downward spiral and resulted in the following convo with fellow doctor Danny (Chris Messina):

"Danny, if we’re still single in five years, and we haven’t found anybody, can we make a pact . . .  that we’ll kill each other?"

2. Mindy’s Romantic Comedy Expertise

As a rom-com movie genius, Mindy is constantly quoting lines and referencing characters from romantic comedies. In the recent Valentine’s Day episode, Mindy realized she wasn’t Jamie’s (B.J. Novak) one true love and said:

"I’m like the Joan Cusack of the romantic comedy of your life."

3. Mindy Looks to Julia Roberts

Once again, the romantic comedies come into play. Who is better to look up to than “Pretty Woman” herself, Julia Roberts? Though, she didn’t seem to help Mindy out too much:

"Maybe I won’t get married, you know? Maybe I’ll do one of those “Eat, Pray, Love” things. Ugh, no. I don’t wanna pray. Forget it. I’ll die alone."

4. Mindy and Lesbians

Just so you know, Mindy says it’s OK as a woman to have a crush on a woman. There’s also not even the slightest chance someone will think you’re a lesbian:

"I hate when people say 'girl crush.' No one’s gonna think you’re a lesbian if you just say 'crush.'"

5. Mindy is No Back Up

No one puts baby in the corner; or in this instance Mindy. She won’t be that creepy woman in the background who becomes that hot guy’s back up, before realizing he’s in love with someone else. Take note, Jamie, and all men:

"I don’t wanna be that, like, rando, that Gerard Butler wastes his time with before he realizes that he’s really in love with Kate Beckinsale."

6. Mindy’s Life Partner

What’s that one thing every woman pictures doing with her life partner? Of course, it’s apple picking! Before settling down, Mindy recommends having a great sex life, and then you can indulge in the above “juicy” activity:

"People seem to be having these awesome sex lives and I’m just trying to find a life partner to go apple-picking with. What’s wrong with me?"

7. Mindy to Marry for Love or Money?

As my dad always says, “First, you marry for money. Then, you marry for love.” He’s obviously joking, but Mindy thinks this just might be the way to go:

"My plan was to marry rich, and then stop working. Or to marry old and then, when the guy died, inherit all his money. But old guys think I have sass-mouth."

8. Mindy and Smart Men

Mindy has a hard time finding the perfect, cute, educated man. Well, when she stumbles upon Dennis (Ed Helms), she won’t let anything - not even a phone call - get in her way:

"Do you know how difficult it is for a chubby 31-year-old woman to go on a legit date with a guy who majored in economics at Duke?"

9. Mindy’s Fantasy Husband

We all have our fantasy husband, or wife, we love to dream about. Mine? Michael Weatherly. Duh! Mindy’s? Check it out:

"If we’re indulging imaginary situations, I would like to introduce you to my husband, straight Anderson Cooper." 

10. Mindy and Condom Etiquette

If you ever wanted to know what’s going on in a woman’s mind regarding condoms - go no further. Thank you, Mindy:

"Condom etiquette. It's hard for women, you know? Because you want to have condoms, but you can't keep them by the bed, because then it seems like you're, like, using them constantly ... So, then you have to do that whole dance like, 'Oh, hey, I might have some somewhere from that bachelorette party I had as a goof!’"

11. Mindy and Appearance

Sometimes women just can’t keep it together, especially appearance wise. At least, Mindy owns up to her sloppiness and messy love life:

"I just figured if I’m going to be a mess - might as well be a hot mess, right?"

12. Mindy and STD’s

It’s always beneficial to have a doctor educate us about relationships and STD’s. That’s just what Mindy did for a group of high school girls:

"But, I’ll tell you one thing that always lasts forever. Herpes. It’s gross, and it’s horrible, Google image search it."

Happy Valentine’s Day! If you get yourself into a sticky situation, just remember Mindy’s helpful relationship advice. You’ll do her proud.